off pink!

i miss u

2010-02-18T19:36:00.001+08:00

ooooo hellooo...i miss u!!!!i really do!!!

god,i think my BP these days has just shoot up to 130/90 (ok mind me, this is considered high for me, i am usually low BP.stress!!!) the laptop is driving me crazy!!!!like dead serious ok.i think it is now in "nazak" mode.mmg tgh mati2 ikan la ni.huwaaaa!!!!as much troubling it is this laptop has been these few days, i don't have like a bloody choice. it's not like the money is falling off the sky any minute. and please dearie laptop, don't die on me until i have the money for ur replacement.please oh pleaseee..

just imagine, so many programs can't be opened anymore. (and no, it's not virus, i have scanned it a million times)and they are like BASIC programs.mozilla firefox and next, google chrome.omg come on!!!don't even talk about all those really heavy programs,my laptop literally stucked every single time. and now, i can never shut it down the proper way, i had to press the button manually until it is off. more damage to my hardware.huhu...this is just so depressing.

i am even having trouble to upload my blog page.like seriously.arghhhh!!!!geram gleee.so much of having a laptop but can't even help me with my daily life.huhu...

life is currently very intimidating.there are so many opportunities and yet, many troubles that come with them.so yep, i am pretty scared of how things are going to unfold for me. cos these days, i really wonder what is becoming of me.hmmm...will tell more later. i am scared i can't even post this entry.sucky..=(

shocked

2010-02-07T20:43:00.000+08:00

was shocked receiving the news of death of my uni mate (cause of death:motor vehicle accident).we had just graduated last june and barely 6 months serving the country.we were not closed but yet, i was pretty disturbed with it for this one whole day and as much as i had tried to put it off my mind,i kept thinking "that could be me."god.

had been in the medical school forever but they never actually tell u lessons on how to deal with death and especially the deaths of the loved ones.6 forever years and yet, not a teeny bit of knowledge i acquire on this.sad.pretty wasted 6 years.

my bff told me that her friend was in the casualty receiving the case, and she couldn't bring herself to look at our very dear friend.how could she? how could we?i would have cried non stop upon receiving the case or probably in a state of daze and shut down just looking at "her".and because of that, i would pray that please Allah, do not let me be put in any situation like that or similar to it.i would be so traumatized and probably having nightmares for all of my life.

she was so young.24 to be exact. the very same age as i am.so young and fresh out of medicine school. still has yet to accomplish many things and experienced many joy of lives.and the reality sunk in, when it could always be easily any of us.as hard as we tried to do things our way, Allah Almighty has the final say. and who are we,His comrades could defy this?

we are all mourning for u, b.we may have not been close but u were one upon in my life, leaving a mark in my heart. and how could i ever erase this mark?have a good rest.

1985-2010

sigh..

2010-02-06T00:05:00.000+08:00

it's so frustrating this feeling.just when u thought that u are having somewhat a good start and by the ened of the day, everything just had to be flushed down the toilet. what is it? what is it that i do this time? i don't understand. i am barely comprehending of my situations that i am having these days. i am trying sooo freakin hard.

these past few days haven't been easy. late nights plus early mornings to adapt with the new role of being an instant mother.god!why is it that i have to care so much?why is it that i am not able to do like others do? to ignore and just worry about myself?why is it that i have to just feel responsible for others who barely care for themselves?what is wrong with me?i am barely breathing, left alone thinking and having emotions for myself. (i am not making any sense!)

i should let this go.the responsibility of the mother thingy. i am not cut out for it. i can't do this. i can't do it when the one who is responsible doesn't/don't care.it's none of my business anyway. it's none of my responsible either.i can't do it when i am only taking this job after having the early failed method retained in the memories of these kids.i can't do it when i can't do it fully my way.i just can't. and i think i am giving up.

i am sorry hubby, but i have tried. i really have. u just have no idea. but i just can't.i really can't.

i don't know if this is some kind of test that i should be passing. and i don't even know whether it should make me grow and i should like probably be "less caring"?or should i work harder?i don't know, i can't even tell.

but, i think i am going to stop caring these much.and focus more on myself now.it's time i learn to be a bit selfish for my own sake.

lovin' it

2010-02-05T13:28:00.000+08:00

i really don't know why but i am suddenly feeling all energetic and very motivated.like i don't even know what triggers it. but, i am sooo liking this. hehe maybe one of the many colourful manifestation of pms.nyeh3

i woke up early and studied.then managed to cleaned up the toilet.then, the usual studying session with kiddo.(and he made quite a progress!*watery eyes*)then, the session with the bos kecik for "hullaballoo" (somewhat like sesame street) and now, catching up on trauma series while wearing mask.(i sooooo deserve it!)heheheh u must be sooo proud of me hubby!=D

anyways, i am all set for trauma!so laters.mmmuahks nyeh3

favourite place

2010-02-04T22:44:00.000+08:00

gorgeous right?????arghhhh!!!i am missing u dearest favourite place!!!!!!hopefully june would be a dream come true!!!!=D

backdated

2010-02-04T22:36:00.001+08:00

omg i didn't realized that today is thursday. i thought it was wednesday!!!like soooo backdated.huwaaa!!!how fast time flies.if this the rate we are going, might as well zap me into the time where hubby dearest is back to my long, slender arms.(hehe perasan i know)

anyways, will be having a reeeealllyyyyy busy weekend. there will be a function on saturday i think but i am trying my very best to squirm out of it.*lol* too lazy to socialize.hahaha but yeah, i am having my hands full with the kiddo. i am trying my very best to help him with ALL of his projects so that i can actually leave this place peacefully.*hopeful* the list would be:

1.art class homework: there are 2 ok.just imagine 2!!!!this boy has been procrastinating his
work for a week. so, happy weekend for both of us to try and finish up 2 art projects.bravo.
2. his history folio: which is actually due in march but due to me, may be called up for duty anytime soon.trying to help him as much as possible. ooooh...now it reminds me that i have to...
3. go and send the pictures to print : for the history folio.
4. going to and workbook shopping! it doesn't even sound any better with the word "shopping" behind!sigh.schoolworks are never meant to be paired with fun things.
5. the other schoolworks!!!yikes.
6. and must try to cram my study session in between *forever* blergh.

ok, it may NOT look handful enough but trust me, it has been keeping me from having enough sleep this few days.balancing a 3 year old with a 12 year old is ALWAYS a bit much.huhu...

anyways, came across this in sasha basir's blog.hahahahah omg!!!!i sooo need to go this.why is it not available anywhere near my place????sedih la.i never knew that we had one like this in malaysia.damn syiokla!must experience it one day.ngeh3

first attempt of paprik cooking

2010-02-04T15:25:00.001+08:00

ahahahahahha. my sis's mat salleh fiance attempted to make paprik last night.as much i am proud of him for wanting to learn the recipe. I CAN"T STOP LAUGHING ever since my sister sent me e-mail on how to *ehem" correct the recipe or technique or whatsoever.he claimed that it didn't taste like the one he had at the gerai.hehe wonder wonder.so...my future BIL took pictures of him cooking step by step *how cute*

okla, i know i am not supposed to laugh but can't resist la. (ok buza, u are not allowed to join and laugh at him cos u also suck at cooking malay food.hahahah) even i laugh that much also, I AM THE ONE WHO IS TRANSLATING THE RECIPE PLUS CORRECTING THE MISTAKES,my arm felt like as if it is going to drop any minute. my e-mail was at least 3 A4 pages long ok! THREE!( so who is the laughing stock now?sigh) and eventhough the arm is like that, still waaaaant to tell the ever glorious story of the first attempt of paprik by my BIL *i am soooo proud of u* to the whole wide world.hehehehe

hehe anyways, he didn't have a "lesung batu" to crush the garlic and the lemongrass. so instead, he used hammer.ok, the result of the garlic was applaudable but the lemongrass were er...as crushed as the garlic.hehehehehehehehhehe (xleh nak tahan gelak langsung ok)

proof:

hehehehehhe cute nak mati.i was having no idea what was that when i took a look at it initially.

me: eh buza, what is that ar at the same pic with the daun limau purut?
sis: ok, don't laugh ar. he took the hammer and pound the lemongrass.
me: why didn't asked him to do "titik" the lemongrass?why didn;t teach him that?
sis: i did!!!i told him to pound the lemongrass. how should i know he pounded it until like that!!!

aiyoooo.why didn't tell him to pound it gently???heheheh. pity that boy.must be traumatising listening to all the jokes that me and my sister are making.heheh

and the BEST part would be when... buza told me that he dumped the WHOLE BOTTLE OF CHILLI SAUCE into the pan.*stunned* hahahahhahahahhahahhahhahahahhahahahahah it was priceless ok. awwwww too cute la he.

proof:

hahahah see how thick is the sauce and look at the amount!!!!hehhehehe too cuteee!!!

to buza and mold, i hope the recipe that i gave will be a success for u both.if not, HAHAHAHHAHHAHAHA.(just for one last time =D)

ARGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!

2010-02-03T23:24:00.001+08:00

WHY IS ORIGAMI SUDDENLY FEEL SO HARD TO LEARN?????????????????
suddenly i feel so suicidal.huwaaaaa!!!!susah gle.what is this "reverse fold"?why none of my creation can only do halfway????why oh why?why kiddo's teacher ask to do this for art class???damn freaking hard la. i have been wasting almost 3 hours with ZERO creation but left with many bits of papers instead.aiyaaa...damn ma fan la.

must repeat the video 1 last time.*again*and nak call it a night. too tired for my brain.huhu...nite nite

me want!!!!

2010-02-02T21:01:00.001+08:00

I WANTTTTTT!!!!!!so cute omg.love love!!!why can't i have my cat do like that also?sooooo cuteeeeee!!!!

i am actually in a very pissy mood.ARGHHHHH!!!!trying to vent off by reading other people's blog., look at cute pics/videos,thinking positive thoughts(nah!)and waiting for hubby to online( haha. this is the main thing, others are to distract me from fidgeting)hehe

i realized that my blog (this 3rd blog), i don't really tell much of my current events. especially if i am mad about something. like bloody defeat the purpose of writing a blog, kan?.hmmm....i don't know.before i had a blog, i always thought that i would treat it as my diary.but now, having one, i don't even tell ANY of the surroundings or events that are involving me.i used to do that in my previous blogs especially my 2nd blog cos i guess they were more private?maybe?

i don't know what the reasons are.as mad as it sounds, sometimes i really wish that my husband is the only person who is reading this blog. but there are sometimes, i wish i could meet someone who is in the same boat as i am.i would sooo love to blog freely about myself and to let everyone experience things that i am having here.

despite being in a very difficult situation and probably the hardest moment in my life, i am now able to appreciate things better and as funny as it sounds, i even feel more content and happy. would so love to share all these with the people out there but....the feelings of important peoples in my life are at stake. as much as i don't care anymore about others(ok maybe, not that much) but i want to lead my life as drama-less as possible.

guess things will remain like this until i become this cold hard bitch and not care about anyone at all.hahah

to my dearest hubby, please read tonight's entry at my previous blog ok?hehe secretla...

list of the day

2010-02-02T18:39:00.000+08:00

i feel that i need to achieve something. doesn't matter if it's a simple thing. i just NEED to do so.huwaaaa!!! feel so useless lately. need the boost to ZINGGG my life back.hehe lame i know.but, i must share what i wish to accomplish(*cough* if possible.hehe)

1.cooking
2.driving
3. have a baby.(come on already, let me have one.huu...)
4.clean up the room *smile shyly* nyeh3
5.study (same thing again and again.why am i sooo lazy?)
6. sewing

hehe.i know my list is like so blah.but i really am THAT sucky.so yes, very the pathetic thank u.please just let me cancle off no5 already!!!grrr...

2010-02-02T18:29:00.000+08:00

it would be freaking AWESOMEE!!!!!!=D

update

2010-02-02T11:01:00.000+08:00

today i feel.....like i felt before i had gotten the massage.sigh.my back is still aching mad.and with no less intensity.huwaaa!probably the estrogen and progestrone are waaaayyyyy stronger than the magical touch of the masseur. and yes, in this battle of backache, they definitely fight to win high and mighty.sigh...the wonders of hormones.huhu...

oooo btw,kristin kreuk is gonna be the newest cast in chuck!!!!and like OMG!!!!THAT IS SOOO FREAKIN CRAZY!!!!!hahahhahahah love love love. how could i NOT love watching chuck.hehe god,kristin kreuk *dreamy eyes* is soooo pretty. she may be lack of height but she reaaallly don't need those extra inches. that's why.

i sound like a lesbian. probably i am bisexual.hmmm...

okla,nak tengok chuck and mencuci mata.hehe toodles!

massage

2010-02-01T21:26:00.000+08:00

it's official and i just can't understand why I DON"T ENJOY MASSAGE.
fuh!!!it felt sooo good to let it out there. i thought all this while i hate getting massage because of the traumatic experience of my first time at a facial session.(tip:don't go to section 14 facial centre near the pusrawi clinic.bloody painful and i was left bruises not satisfaction)

and now even after an hour and a half, i am still not enlightened. please tell me why.is it abnormal? but my back feels GREAT though. oh, and the head too.other body parts felt more or less the same.i don't like fell in love with it and have the urge to do more. maybe, i should just get back and head massages in the future, kan?

or maybe i should wait tomorrow to feel the effect of "badan ringan"?hmmm...will update tomorrow then.

new

2010-02-01T15:57:00.000+08:00

aaaaaaaaahhhhh new header.hehehe must get myself constantly inspired in order to make me a errrr...not boring person maybe?heh.nahhh!!!i am sooo way cool.hehe found the pic at the usual site of weheartit. and when i 1st saw the pic, i was like woaaaaahhhhh!sooooooo freakin prettttttyyyy!!!i know i had to have it but...the setback is the small size.need to find something to fill up the spaces at the sides.hmmm not yet found the perfect match. hopefully soon!

hmmm now i am gonna find a new background layout *big grin*. maybe a polka dot or swirly2 type?loveee♡

korean

2010-02-01T08:43:00.000+08:00

if i could choose to be born in any race, i would choose korean. not italian,not venezuelan but korean. yes, and the reason being is korean girls come in full package(ultimate win!) (or that is how i feel ok?).let us list down,shall we?

1. super HOT
2. sexy skinny legs
3. sexy skinny bod
4. flat tummy
5. very very fashionable people, won't u agree?
6. have i said skinny long sexy legs?
7. great actress plus super hot. hahaha
8. FREAKIN AMAZING DANCERS!!!!

like omg really.why are they so freakin amazing at dancing???? i have NEVER seen any korean band who can't dance well. there's the kabba modern, generation girls a.k.a snsd, wondergirls and the list just goes on!!!even the guys can dance SUPERBLY well. unlike many malaysian dancers (*ehem*) in my opinion, the guy dancers performing at the awards are always either
a) sloppy
b) very sissy
c) plain yucks.(no word to describe)

where iz all ze great guys danzers in malaysia????do we not have hope?eheheheh
anyways, this is the very good example of korean girls that i sooo want to be.*big, watery eyes*

huuuu...aren't they like so fineee????ok, don't lie. i know u too were salivating at them too. huwaaaa!!! even i am a girl, i would still looooove to date one of them.heheheh *serious* if cannot be like them, at least can befriend them already feel so syiokkk!!!

hubby told me i can't dance for shit.i can't even do the universal booty shaking without making myself look constipated.sighhhh...what fun. don't even start with the lap dancing, he even asked me to stop dancing even before i started. the ever misery of not having natural ability of dancing.*gloomy*

anyway, let's end this entry with a parody version of the generation girls by the korean guys.=D

EVEN THEY CAN DANCE BETTER THAN ME!!!DAMN IT!!!=(

polly pocket

2010-02-01T02:28:00.001+08:00

aaaaaahhhh...the olden days. where tiny puney people act the fantasy of our lives. where fantasy still considered real.have any idea?hehe it's the awesome marvelous POLLY POCKETS!!!!

hahahah.i totally loveeee them. i have the big huge pink purplish star in this pic(heh.smug) and it IS the BEST polly pocket i ever have.omg i remembered having two. one is the big star and my first one would be the small love in light milky green with farm theme. i still remember!!!!wowwww. aren't they amazing?

god i still love looking at them eventhough i have outgrown it.i still do love window shopping barbie too! ooooooh and my little ponies!!!!love love love those days. the fact that when u talk to urself loudly, u are not considered as lunatic. hehe motif la kan nak cakap sorang2 bila dah umor 24 kan?heheheh

do u think our kids would enjoy these treasures as much as we do?*grin*

2010-01-31T23:59:00.001+08:00

ooooooh hubby.come home quick please.please please please...=( tsk tsk..

random

2010-01-31T17:20:00.000+08:00

omg i know i'm like supposed to be studying but i got stuck in awe with looking at the pics. oh please, i want one of these too!!!

waaaahhhhh bes gleee ok!i want the purple one!!!!wantttttt!!!!even the blue one looks so cuuuute!(i hate blue ok but still want) heheheh amazing kan???how ar they managed to do that to their cats?hehehe nak la.

next awesome pic......jeng jeng jeng

omg!!!!isn't that like amazinggggggg!!!the baby room is waaaay prettier than my room.lol.just imagine!if i ever get a room makeover like this for my newborn, i am so replacing the crib with my bed. HAH.hehehehhe

okla,that's all for now.i really have to study.sob sob...

bobottttt

2010-01-31T16:22:00.000+08:00

dearest hubby, when la we get to take picture like this kan?love u more more more.missing u every nanosecond.memang love la. hehe

all pics from this site is all credited to we heart it.okla,personal pics lain cite la kan.

a dedication

2010-01-31T16:13:00.003+08:00

haha today i am so having my mojo back (ok blogging sense,not studies.sigh) and I am gonna blog as much as i can.hehe this do not happened always okies. so, round of applause for me please????=D hihi.gedik i know.

this is going to be a very serious post.specially dedicated to all my girls who kept asking me about relationship, the ultimate one and all the things that we girls, always wonder about.may this entry would halp u in facing one of the few difficulties in making the right choice of a lifetime.

before i met my the one (felt sooooo good saying that), i was in a very very complicated relationship. a relationship of 4 years. 4 freakin looooong years i must say. he was my 1st love and memang cinta mati betul la time tu.he heh heh.

it was full of hardwork in that relationship.seriously and i never worked sooo hard for a guy that much. i used to have things easy with the dating, guy friends and all that la.but with him, i reallly had to give my everything. he said i was too independent so i slowly opened up myself to let him in.

i was giving my all but it felt like nothing came back. every night i would wonder what went wrong. my heart was at stake but still, why is it still remain not enough?i am supposed to be happy.i barely remember when we were happy together and being very fond of each other. he was supposed to be my THE ONE. why am i being stressful then? why does the tears keep falling?

and then i learned the hardest thing in a relationship, that is ~to let go.i should have known better, he has never been my type all this time but i was making excuses about how he will change and things would get better for both of us.i thought maybe i should be patient and try harder. the harder i try, the harder i fall. i thought i could overlook the weaknesses of the relationship by blaming myself for being too "hopeful".i was making more and more excuses every single day with hope that he would see me being strong for him.

i was the most foolish girl at the moment. and i learnt the hard way. i had to be strong for me and not for him. i knew better but never had the courage to do so. the thought of not having him in the future simply terrorize the whole idea of living. but, i wasn't living during those 4 years. i was no where.

and yup,i am definitely thankful to the Almighty for giving me the strength at last and for letting me experience the whole rollercoaster ride. all i would like to say is, sometimes, u already know the guy is not for u, he never was but because the affection that u had for him was so strong, it blinds the way u see things. u always know when is the right guy,u just have to have the courage to say no to those who aren't.

and that my friends, is the hardest thing in relationship.may strength will come those of u in need.
much love

the one with hate

2010-01-31T15:31:00.000+08:00

i love kids. like totally. but if i had to choose one kid that i loath, it would be my cousin. my 9 year old cousin. my spoiled, irritating, whothinkssheisagoddamnprincessthateveryonehastofollowwhatshesaysanddemandtobetreatedasone.....fuhhhh there u go.she has got to be one of THE most hateful creature i have ever met. this is waaaayyyy worse than spoiled brat ok.this is like 10 thousand times worse. i know spoiled brats to the z. but really, my cousin is waaaaaayyyy horror-er.haha

yesterday, me,MIL and the kiddo were rushing to get ready to go and have our lunch. and knowing the jam-packed roads on a very happy saturday, we were moving at the speed of light.theeeeeeennnnn, boleh la pulak minah kecik itu datang dengan bersukaria selepas kelas mengaji (it is bloody unfortunate that she lives just right beside us,dang!) dan menyuruh itu kiddo yang begitu baik hati dan lurus bendul untuk menemaninya untuk betanya kepada ibundanya bahawasanya princess (ok,sangat geli)juga mahu ikut sama. ok so what happened was, me and MIL were in the car waiting for 20 bloody minutes, and MIL decided to call kiddo to ask why is it taking so long.

this kiddo pulak, yang terlampau baik sangat menyebabkan aku sangat rasa nak jadi naga, cakapla yang "princess" tengah mandi. i was like 'WTF??????????????" mandiiiiiiiiii?????ko nak mati ke princess?????maunye aku wat upacara memancung kepala kang.grrrrrrrrrr....i was bloody furious la of course. told MIL i would stomp there and heret the kiddo to the car and shook him reeealllly hard until all the organs would be out of his body (ok fine exaggerated tapi adalah tahap camtu la gak marah tau) that is if she lets la.

tapiiiiii MIL ku ini tersangaaaaaatttt la baik.so, no chance la.kne tunggu la instead.tunggu punya tunggu x sampai 5,10 minit datangla kiddo dengan muka masam nya.

"ma, u can wait if u want or just go.i don't care.she is taking her bath too long"

hehehhe.maka,aku pun tersenyum lebar sekali.okla, maybe this is not a good example of why i can't stand her. cos there are like many "better" stories to help u understand so. but...this is the most recent one and probably, if i blog the ones that is more interesting, i would have the risk of losing my laptop.hehehhehehe

oh Allah, please don't bless me with this kind of child to me???pretty please?

p/s if u noticed the words bold in red are all referring to the ever beloved cousin. the red emphasize the hate and the cannot stand her thing. hehehe symbolic laaa.

getting married

2010-01-31T09:15:00.000+08:00

why is that every night before i sleep, is urely have a good idea of what i wanted to blog about then, the minute i open up my blog *CRASH*.sheeeshhhh damn irritated ok.i swear i have loads of good stuffs that is worth writing down. bummer.

anyways, the day before my sis, who has finally decided to end her bachelor life as a wife soon...he heh heh (CONGRATULATIONS BUZA!)is freeeeeaking out.she kept asking me whether getting married is a good thing for her. ok, 1st u have to know that, my mum and dad are not the BEST example of what married life should be.ok, not even close as good. so it is understandable why my sis is very terrified of the idea of getting commited to only ONE man for the entire life.

the fact that i have been married for 2 years plus now and at a very young (as i would like to say it.heh) age of 22, all i would like to say is.....GO GET MARRIED!!!

gosh, i loooooveeeee being married. i don't know why is it people tend to be very scared at the word "married". seriously. being married is AWESOME! the fact that i am married while i was still young,i still loveeeeeee more more more being married than dating!i never look back ever since. it has got to be the BEST decision i have ever made in my WHOLE ENTIRE LIFE.hah.

i don't know what is it with girls, they want to find a man to make him as their life-partner then when finally, comes the day of proposal, they would be like "what if he is NOT the one?"like wtf?realllyyyy??????????? after all the dating and efforts and tiring uncertainties and hardwork, and now only u want to ask "what if?"

i must say (i don't care if u disagree)i am very very lucky that, i am the type of person who knows what i want. and i don't go like wonder the what ifs. i don't dwell on the thoughts of "if he is NOT the one?". god, i think people should stop playing with this card. if he is THE ULTIMATE ONE, and u bloody don't work for the relationship, THE RELATIONSHIP ain't HAPPENING. i admit marriage is hard in some ways but any relationship IS hard, everything needs effort, don't u agree?

when i got married, my friends were like, "don't u regret getting married so young?"
i was like,"so when should i get married then?"
"i don't know, maybe a bit later, when life is more stable and u achieve many things in ur careerwise or stuff"
i was appalled."do u love ur girlfriend?"
"yes, of course la"
"are u planning to marry her?"
"of course la"
"then why must wait right?"
"......."

i seriously don't understand why people simply wants to wait. when u meet someone u love,don't u want to marry them? what is it with dating?i HATE dating.i hate the uncertainties that comes with it, the unknown future, the break up and going back to the same guy, the "i like u a lot but we need space".like wtf is all that? and before u say, marriage can comes with divorce,trust me, u don't get divorce easily.

marriage would actually changes the way u view ur partner. i am NOT kidding. the second u say "i do", u look at ur partner, and u could feel it in ur heart strongly that u want to protect them with all ur might. even during those nasty fights,u will be surprised on how tolerant u can be and how humbling those experiences can be.

arrrrrrrr...all i can say is u have to try it urself la.so people, "GET MARRIED LA!!!!"

borinnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnggggggggggg

2010-01-30T19:25:00.000+08:00

eeeeeeee geramnyeeee!!!!asal la kan kucing2 ni sukeee sgt nak main2 dgn kite time kite nak solat?kalau kite x solat, kemain sombong tau. tapi time2 nak solat tu la dia nak meleset2 kat badan kite,nak tido dgn kite la....ARGGHHHHH!geram tau!

maafkan diriku ini.entry2 akhir2 ni ~~agak~~ sangat membosankan.mungkin kehilangan ilham setelah pasangan cinta mati ku telah meninggalkan diri ini.cewahhhhh.ye, dia mmg cinta mati.(ok, saje je nak menekankan status pasangan hidup *tetiba*)

i can't even read my last few entries. it is soooo B-O-R-I-N-G!!!what had just happened to me? i am supposed to be this hip and happening person(ok, syok sendri) and now i could barely erase the word boring on my forehead. huhu...DUSH!

boringla. nothing fun is happening to me. not even drama(ok, shouldn't have said that.damn suey). not like i'm welcoming it but life now is very monotonous. not like i don't like it, really.but i wish i could accomplish at least something while having this boring monotonous period of my life.

i am supposedly studying one system per day.(useless. can't even finish A page)
i am supposedly finish packing up(that also useless. too lazy to look at the luggage also)
i am supposedly clean up the room. ( what i was thinking?)
i am supposedly playing chess with the kiddo after asar prayer today. (HAHAHA)

i know damn lame right my reasons?god, what is wrong with me these days. sooo lacking motivation. so doctor,please prescribe me a FOREVER infusion (better infusion and not injection) of energy and probably errr...excitement maybe? i gotta LIVE!(ala2 high pitched voice yg cam drama tv slalu tu.ok merepeks)

slow

2010-01-28T22:43:00.000+08:00

i had just finished helping my hubby's lil bro with his schoolwork. and... being a slow learner.wait, verrrrrrrrrryyyy slow learner,u need to be equipped with high resistance of patience with him. hehe not to make fun of him but i admit that it does get very frustrating at times when u repeated tell him the same thing until his 4 year old niece managed to memorize every single word u have said only to find him still the same as he was before u had explained to him.(ok, i am not the one who is frustrated ok. others who find him so i meant. i was a slow learner myself so i totally understand the whole struggle with understanding and all)

so, as i was flipping through his previous works, i stumbled upon a page which is marked red all over. i asked him if he was having trouble understanding that page and i can see that he was fumbling and making excuses, saying that his teacher asked him to do it hurriedly and he didn't managed to do it properly.

and when i asked him to redo it back, he was having no idea on how to solve the questions. and then it struck me, he was shy of admitting that he doesn't understand the questions. huuu....sian gleeee. just imagine, having not understanding anything then, got too scared of admitting that u have no clue or watsoeva.

i feel so bad for him.he was struggling reaaaallly bad all this while but we didn't manage to detect it any earlier.
i am now determined to teach him with all the time i am left with so that at least he won't be afraid of learning. and hopefully one day he will become a master in it. amin....

1st night

2010-01-28T11:32:00.000+08:00

and so i survived my 1st night alone in the bed that felt too big for me. asleep with his grey shirt covering my face, with a very subtle smell of his perfume, the only thing that i thought that was left for me to remind me of.

then, in the morning, open the fridge to look for last night's leftover for breakfast, when i saw "lidah masak merah" and my heart broke into a million pieces.went straight to the room for comfort.then i realized....

there is no comfort when there is no him in here.
the thought just left me suffocated and i just wish today was yesterday.
the day i still have him.
the day the room doesn't feel empty like this.
the day which doesn't feel anything like this.

.......

2010-01-26T17:35:00.000+08:00

it's time like dis i wish i could just stop the time so i can have him longer with me. a month felt like a week and now i'm struggling to accept the fact dat he is flying off tomorrow and i just can't think of anything else except dat he is gone soon everytime i look at him.

the harsh and hard, cold and lonely life of his abscence...

sedih gle la....huuuuuu =(

too busy...

2010-01-16T20:34:00.000+08:00

TO EVEN FEED MY PET IN PETVILLE AND ALL THE FISHES IN HAPPY AQUARIUM.hah

sooooo pls be patient okies?laters.mmmuahks.

power

2010-01-09T12:55:00.000+08:00

"u just have to accept that some ppl can't be changed. and it's not in ur power to do so"

dis was wat hubby told me last night.
but why does d heart sank with guilt everytime i can't help and change him to be a better person.
why do tears roll on my cheeks with the utmost hatred feeling towards myself?
why my love would not able to touch his heart as i wanted it to?

and why all of a sudden the statement felt so true and yet, i am still overwhelmed with guilt and nausea thinking all about it.

when i should give up and give in?
when is enough?

should i keep astray?
should i try harder?
should i show love more?
should i let him in more?

and i am now left with many questions of uncertainties.

nothing

2010-01-09T12:39:00.000+08:00

even at 24 years of age, i still work hard to pave my way into being accepted in a person/ persons life. i still feel as though i need to find myself my own "family"-people who would take me as i am and love me for all my faults and strengths. people who i would like them to love me unconditionally and believe in me more than i do in myself.

how strange it is to feel to be surrounded by "our" people and yet, feeling so lonely and empty deep inside. why is this feeling still exist? i am 24 and i am married. but somehow, i still struggle at finding the comfort and trust of one's company.

well, of cos i am blessed with a wonderful husband. and nevertheless, i am ALWAYS thankful for that. as lonely my life can be, he makes my life so full of joy and happiness.and at times, he can even be too handful for me!

so am i being greedy? for Allah has already granted me a wonderful person like no other. for i already have THE ONE at a very young age while others are still in search for one. for i already have a forever when others are still stuck with the DREAM of meeting one.

i am thankful. really i am. maybe i am just scared that after experiencing forever, he could be taken away from me anytime. and from everything and only thing i have, i will only be left with........nothing.

and every day i pray that i would never have my path cross with "nothing"

blurry

2010-01-04T21:25:00.000+08:00

new year sudah and skola pun dah bukak balik. oh what fun!hehe i have not abandoned dis blog, i have been writing but halfway surely got distracted then, wanting to continue from where i left, i already lost the momentum to write so again and again, write a new post and got distracted and the vicious cycle just continue on and on. sigh...

anyways...hubby is BACK!gotta love those words.hehe i just love loveeee the smell of him which is the last thing dat i will think before closing my eyes at night.heavennnn!!!!thank u Allah!!!for letting me dis chance of having him back in my arms eventho for a short while, i could not have wanted any other things or human! having him is ecstasyyyyy!!!(god, i sounded cheesy and like airhead.wateva)

i am a bit distracted dis days. having so many things to accomplished while fitting "joy" and "fun" in d picture. sometimes life can be too overwhelming and it felt like as if i can't have any of the joy together wif wateva i am having at that moment. huhu...

i dun even have dat much time for blog hopping (which i absolutely loveeeeeee to do) and i felt like as if i became a very boring person when i am writing. damn weird la d way i'm blogging now,dontcha think? my mind is off wandering somewhere and my hands just kept on typing without any purpose.arghhhhh damn it.

i have so many things to blog.like loads!but i'm losing my yappiness la. maybe i shud try and blog later.sigh...

btw, i am goin to do a 2nd hand sale here. must let go a few things b4 shifting to a new place.and those things are like precious ok. but, i needed the $$$. so hopefully, the things will go to ppl who would enjoy it like i have.huhu...

stressorrrr

2009-12-30T23:19:00.000+08:00

god. i think my baby(ok, the cat la easier)is horny.and i am now officially scared of him. cos he kept biting my big toe and becausssseeee i had a very traumatic experience earlier with my other cat. i am now being very traumatized with the situation dat my baby is trying to have sex with my big toe.ARGHHH!!!!damn yucky at the thought of it. dahla i tgh menstrual, adakah bau2 badan ku yg kuat dgn darah? menggiurkannya?omg!!!!plislaaaaa!i feel so "geli" laaaaa...dun wan la be attracted to me. like incest je d feeling. *gross*

anyways, i am feeling VERY stressed out. and bloody menses just amplify every tiniest feeling i have and i just feel the need to be mad at about....everything?

i am like so bloody pissed with myself, it's like my 2nd day without my phone's charger.ARGHHHH!!!! how could ANYONE misplace a charger????like bloody impossible rite? come on!!!dat also must misplace is it?haiyaaa...

i hate "this" feeling THE most ok. the feeling dat u lost something and u bloody need it urgently but no, the more u need it, the harder it is to find back the thing dat u r looking for. like as if u r sending bad aura or signal to the thing.like shoo-ing them away instead. HELLO?????????come back laaaaaaaa...

god, damn irritating ok. maybe everything shud be electrified or magnetified(ala....dunnola d proper word) for the sake dat evrything can go back to its place after being used. especially for ppl like me who is so bloody forgetful.help us forgetful creatures, O Allah!

x buat main ok. i am seriously hoping dat my things dun get lost dis often and especially the very important ones.i have tried the habit thing where i put my stuffs at the same place and all. X TIPU tau. butttttt...i still have no idea why things kept missing. shud i blame it on the cat? or the 3 year old kid?heheheh

okla, wanna go pang sai. heh

dodgers

2009-12-27T00:09:00.001+08:00

god, i soooo hate ANYONE who doesn't like to own up to what they have said or did.like truly hate them.*curse them*

what is sooooo hard to just admit ur doings?????NO ONE is bloody perfect, and i'm freakin sure dat no one cares if u r not too. so what's up wif the dodging the bullets time and time? like helllo???? loser la u.

and what is WORSE,(yah, sumore got worse.sigh) those who doesn't own up then try to put the mess to someone else. eh plisla. i dun have a mental i.q of a 4 year old, of cos i can see what u r trying to do. damn pissed ok.

sumore still wants to act so bloody righteous, as if had done the right thing. my a** lah.

god, just grow up and bloody admit it.damn siao.

liar liar

2009-12-25T16:44:00.000+08:00

i am definitely feeling guilty bcos like, evryone who is close to me like basically had to lie or try hard to hush all the controversy surrounding me.( d drama thingy) like i dun even want them to do so but for some particular reasons, like we are surrounded with the lies whether we like it or not.

i really don't like lying. really. i just don't understand why ppl have to lie. like once u created a lie, u just like have to pile it wif MORE lies just to cover d basic lie and it's like so hassling.and messy and yucky. and and i really do not like get it at all. like seriously.

hey i like don't have a say in dis ok.like i didn't wanna lie either but some ppl are just too hypocrites and like i dunno, can't accept failure maybe? like they wanted ppl to perceive them as dis perfect ppl which is basically really, NOT!

like, what's up wif dat?

and like when we tell the truth, they will go like bash u up and like telling u dat "y d hell did u do dat for?" and all those bullshit of reasoning themselves. to like convince us the wrong and make it right. i really can't believe dat there IS such ppl exist.sheeeshhhh

i definitely just want the drama to end once and for all but i like truly believe dat it will only ends when one of us die. dat way, the ugliness will just die wif them or i like don't have to live to see all dis ugliness no more.

either or, i wouldn't mind even a bit.
(ok, not like i'm suicidal or anything. dun get me wrong. i just hate lying and dat IS how much i hate it)

yayyyy!!!

2009-12-25T02:45:00.000+08:00

hubby is not mad at me!!!he was asleep all dis while!!!yayyyy!!!and now i am chatting with him while bugging him to read my last entry and ~~forcing~~ asking him to comment on which ring he likes.hehe

but....my hubby can be very UN-sporting.sheeeshhh. dunnola whether he will actually leave a comment on his fave ring. probably crictisize my choices (hell, even i din't like my choices dat much) like hell but... at least feedback rite?

okla,now serious mode while chatting.laters!

wedding ring

2009-12-25T00:15:00.000+08:00

i think my hubby is like punishing me for being too clingy or maybe bcos i told him dat i haven't done any workouts for so many days or was it the one where i am always finding excuses when he asked me to do some things.sigh....damn sad ok.i feel like crying.he was reading my blog BUT did not buzz me on my ym.how cruel was dat?

and i even msg-ed him,

baby besar,u r reading my blog but did not buzz me???how could u...(ok fine,dis is like d direct translation of our baby language and i doubt u guys wud understand if i write in it.heh)

and now i'm just plain sad and immediately felt sick.(drama) but really ok, i was 36.8C!!!but dat was then. hehe. i am now like recovered all of a sudden due to ze ever great tiffany and co!!!

i was sad what so must find inspiration to make myself feel better and not like feel dreadful and sobbing my heart out. ENOUGH to crying unnecessarily! (ececece altho just last nite, was crying while chatting) okla, dun wanna cry too much, i'm like less than a week to have my freedom taken and kept away, MUST (very very gung-ho) try and enjoy last moments of workload free.hehe

so anyways, my hubby and i d other nite was like chatting about getting me a new pendant for my "mas kahwin" necklace.( go ask ur frens ok bout mas kahwin, too lazy to explain) cos d one i have now was a gift of a family fren. so hubby wanted to buy me something else which reminds me of him. (ok, actually dunno what is his intention for wanting to replace the pendant. must be LOVE.hehe)

then, he was telling me dat he didn't like his wedding band*gasp* AND he will never ever wear it no more.*double gasp*okla actually it does look bloody simple and like no character but i mean no budget, what choice i am left wif rite?but....he told me dat i also cud get a new ring if i wanted to.(bcos of the shocked confession dat he just made, and suddenly i was just plain confused.like can we replace our wedding rings????omg!!!)

ok maybe my wedding ring is not particularly my favourite but the mere thought of replacing it was...errr...scary?weird?dunnola. dat was what i had in my mind dat time. in my head all dis while there was dis idea of once i put on THE ring, i wil never take it out until i die and no, i hate anyone bugging me to try on the ring. cos it's MY ring so no one shud ever touch it.but of cosla not happening,bcos of my work. grrrr....

so anyways,i'm not like a jewellery person. i don't like to wear jewellery dat much and d very thought of i could have my favourite ring on my finger does seem enticing.but...i still cannot la let go of the idea of replacing my wedding solitaire.huhu...

anyways, i am like being so damn irritating. at first i wanted to show u my choices of pendant. then i think back, maybe i shud show u guys of what i would like to replace my hubby's wedding ring. so here are the choices....jeng jeng jeng

ok, dis is like has a modern feel to it. it is not like my fave tho but i guess mens' rings are so limited. dunno it's bcos men are definitely boring creature or the designers have no bloody idea.sigh..

dis is like what i kinda like but i'm surely hubby wud have like hated it cos look so girlish and all.i think diamonds on man are like a BIG no-no la. just seem so weird on a man's hand.and *cough* sissy. i like big chunky ring with huge manly stone for a guy's ring but tiffany&co doesn't seem to have anything like dat. BO-RING.

dis ring also ok la. not so much going gaga over it. but manly. simple but not like love at 1st sight ring.huhu...

they have a chunkier version too which i kinda like. i like guys wearing big, chunky rings.look tough and brings out the MAN in them. dat's how i feel la. at least.

like seriously, so boring right the choices?i also feel a tad of dissapointment in tiffany&co for not making nicer rings for men.i know la, not buying now so no rush.but pity la for those who r getting married.hehe (lame excuse)

so dear hubby, which one is ur favourite? =)

ok please online and chat with me, what did i do wrong?arghhhhh!!!!=(

2009-12-24T20:13:00.002+08:00

image hosting site

friend or foe?

2009-12-24T17:12:00.001+08:00

hubby is coming home soon!hubby is coming home soon!!!!YAYYYYYYY!!!!how terrific am i feeling now?what?i can't hear uuuuuuuu. what?????hehe i know damn irritating. but he is like coming home sooooonnnnn. wheeeeeee!!!damn nice la d feeling. so cozy and mushy and loveeeeeeee.hehe

LDR is so freakin hard. i dunno how ppl manage.like i'm seriously goin bonkers by the minute. eventho i have survived many many months but i still feel so shitty and desperate(i think?) most of the time. i still cry at the very thought of he is over there while i'm stuck here. (now also, eyes got watery) and the worst part of knowing i have to let him go everytime he is back. dis is definitely d WORST feeling ever ok. just imagine, feeling happy on top of d world, like nothing can stop u and feeling so so so freakin low in a matter of seconds. waaaaaaaaahhhhhhhh faster la grad baby besar!!!

damn depressing LDR.tsk~

anyways, better not bore u guys to death. wanted to tell u bout this fren of mine. she is a friend but she is not like my "friend" fren.geddit? she is not acquaintence but not close fren la simply. hehe just wanted to play wif ur mind. anywayssss...as u all know, i'm like in a mess of dramas and many unwanted events at my current oh so-not exciting life, as it involves a lot of very close ppl of mine. i decided to MIA for a while from my friends due to horrible consequences if word leaks out. (sound so damn exciting but unfortunately, plain drama.sigh)

soooo...there's dis fren of mine which is not a close friend. yes, we know each other. yes, we have talked to each other. yes, she was hanging around with the same circle i used to mix around wif. BUT

we NEVER meet with each other during summer break(only once, due to unavoidable circumstances).
we NEVER open up to each other or share stories.
we NEVER contact each other during summer hols. (oh ya, she msg me at frenster once bcos i was telling my bff about a new shop to buy all the branded clothings at cheaper prices. like what the???)
we NEVER like go shopping together.(like hello, how can be friends if NEVER shopping together???)

so anywayss...my SIL told me dat my "fren" msg her at her fb and like asked whether it was true dat i was like in deep shit or sumthin? and she said dat she had to asked my SIL cos she knows my hubby won't answer her quessies.like wtf???? my hubby won't layan u so u think my SIL would? *TOOT* (hehe dramatic a bit)

1st, u r not my bloody fren.
2nd, u r not trying to be caring but just snooping other ppl's life and MY life to be exact.
3rd, don't bloody play the card of "i just wanted to be caring, y u have to be so harsh to me?". lady,
there is a fine line of caring and plain busy body. so how come all dis while, never ever msg me
at all, huh? damn u. think i suddenly forget dat u never were befriending me much ke?sheeshhh.

i dun care if ppl defending saying dat she maybe wants to know the truth just to satisfy herself and *vomit* caring. PEOPLE! u know when u are a dear friend to someone and definitely u bloody know what is caring or kepochi.must teach u guys is it?hmph. damn pissed.

ppl like dis always acting like they are so bloody caring not knowing dat they are actually complicating d situation. then they go like bugged other ppl's life and ask like they wanted to be caring but somehow, spread rumors. like the worst part wud be, they always get away with it.GRRRRR... just bcos, others r so gullible to believe dat she is *vomit* innocent.

if any of u, actually thinks dat u r in dat category above, plis stay far far away from me. u r so BLACKLISTED. and no, not even a million dollars, i would have u in my life.

thank u.

merry marry

2009-12-23T21:59:00.001+08:00

dis is d season of getting married. seems like everyone is! i don't like weddings, like seriously. never have and never will. even i don't like my wedding.hehe serius la. i just find it too much hassle and i dunno why when u r getting married, it seems so the guests are made up of ur parents friends are waaaaay more than ur frens.and d long long long dreadful ceremony and u just had to wait to eat, i mean x kan nak masuk2 dtg trus makan kan?heheh tahla, i have never been a fan of weddings and the only wedding dat i i have attended b4 dat i like was only one.

where it was held at a restaurant and we just came and trus makan. we didn't even see d bride and groom b4hand. then bile nak balik, baru prasan bride dgn groom tgh posing mosing kat kereta antik.he heh heh. kan simple and best camtu. i loike simple weddings. duit pn x abis and org pun xdela nak bengkek kan makan lambat. heheeh

but i do love marriages. like i so love marriages especially the ones where someone met the one for only a short period then jumped off to the marrying part. awwwww.....(bcos same story wif what i have.hehe) so anyways just watched "keeping up wif the kardashians", and like chloe got married to her 1 month old bf. i was practically in tears when she was telling how comfy she was feeling in her own skin and she like never felt dat wat b4. double awwwww...(hubby for sure muntah)

anyways, everyone was practically ganging up against her at first and then she finally got it done and of cos everyone was happy for her. cos he really IS a nice and perfect for chloe. which reminds me of the time when i announced my marriage to my frens, ok some were genuinely happy but some was like "how come parents dia kasik kawin when x penah jumpa pn mr.baby besar(hubby la)?"
hmmmm....some ppl just don't know how to be happy for others. and they just had to stir up commotions even at the most happy moments of other ppl's life. sheeeshhh.

get a life u all!!!

okla bukan nak cite psl derang cos like i am so not caring anything anymore. enough dramas for now. tsk. anyways, wanted to tell u how was my love story wif my hubby. he heh heh. xia xue had her time telling hers, i also feel obligated to tell (ok finela, let me syok sendri ok)

baby besar and i were friends but we never actually like talk. i mean seriously. he was like in the same click but we just don't talk. we were like acquaintence which i really dunno y is dat. cos i'm like super friendly with everyone. (he gave the reason dat he was terribly shy but maybe i was too ugly for his liking????NOT. heheh xkanla kan?he heh heh)

so anyway, when we first start talking, i was in a seriously demented rship. like i was trying to be strong and all and trying to hold on but i wasn't sure of the what was in dat guy's head. i was still head over heels for him but he was trying to hit another girl and like still pulling strings wif me. i was confused but being me, a very loyal person, i tried my best to just hold on until a clear explaination was given. clearly i wasn't getting one.

ok enough bout him,so it started out wif my baby besar, during the exam season. me and my roomies were like so gung-ho on studying. like evrytime we would buzz one of our roomies cousin to buy us food like everyday.hehe like everyday buzz him at his msn. andddd my hubby was staying wif them at dat time, so dis one day, we told him to help us buy food for us. so since then, we wud be meeting each other evryday.

andddd...i dunno y dat my heart skips evrytime i see him. cos we never actually talk dat much as i was so into no time for food and talk, all study mode.but evryone can see dat i was glowing and skipping evrytime he comes to send d food.

andddd during dat exam season also, i had like another fling(s) wif other 2 guys. bukan i nak ok, serius tanak. tp dh TER. and fling je tau not rship.(told ya d rship i had wif the guy yg kata atas td was demented)hehe cannot remember telling hubby dis or not. anyways... i remembered going out wif my bff, and she was like asking me about these guys, and i was like "i think i like baby besar a lot" and she was like aggreeing dat baby besar seems like a good guy and wud make a better choice for me. like i shud probably give dat a chance and instead of hanging around for the other guy.

so wat happened was, we started sms-ing each other but we never like actually talk other things except for exams.(must be me and my jitters) and he was like awfully nice tau. when i told him to pray tahajjud for my exams all, he did and he wud like msg me b4 xm and tell dat i was surely gonna pass bcos he has prayed for me. awwwwww...sweet kan?

then, b4 he is goin back to msia for summer hols, he was like asking me to come along to shop gifts for the family and so on.and i did follow him around but we still never actually talk dat much. like he wasn't opening up to me, like AT ALL.so i just thought maybe he needed a fren or something.

and so he went back to msia while i stayed there, i wasn't like expecting him to msg or wat. but he kept sms-ing and evry nite we started chatting wif each other. and it was a wonderful surprise dat he was a very very comfy person to talk to. and less than 2 weeks, he was like asking me to be his gf. it was definitely a fast track for me.and i know, i just had to give him the chance to let me heal and forget my past.

and what do u know in the next 4 months, we were already planning a wedding.=D even dat thought puts a smile on my face. and now after like 2 years 4 months 3 weeks and 3 days of marriage, i am still the luckiest and happiest woman ever!and as corny as it sounds, i never had thought in a million years to have found someone to be so amazing and loves me more than i would have dreamed of.*sob*

i lurrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrveee u baby besar and may there would be many years of love and happiness for us to come!may it be eternity and masuk syurga sesama..amin...

❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤

snowy snowy

2009-12-23T08:06:00.000+08:00

yesternight, the house was blacked out.bloody stress cos i was sleeping soaking wet and i think baby cat also can't sleep well due to the heat so he was practically running up and down and turning my place upside down probably to find a nice cold place to sleep.and now, i am wide awake when the little boy decided to play on the side table and scrambled my notes, grrrrr...extremely irritated anddddd the stomach just has to choose dis time to be in pain and miserable. i'm like in dire need of air cond but...cannot do so cos d stomach will start to be more upset. ahhhhh....the joy of life.

it'a almost christmas and for dis past 6 years, i had WHITE christmas.hehe damn syiok ok. i am soooo in lurrrrrrrrrrveee wif white x'mas. despite d harsh cold weather (a -10 to -15 most of the time!!!) and most of the time, each and every body parts u have feels numb but winter is soooo my fave season no matter what. it is sooo gorgeous!!! in fact much prettier site than spring. and spring was pretty too, over there, they have the biggest and gorgeous roses u'll ever see! not like m'sian type ok. m'sian type are like soooo over'rated. roses are so not pretty in m'sia.REALLYYYY. damn small and fragile. dahla xde bau.

like in my place last time, they had dis underground flower market and OMG, just b4 u enter the market u can smell roses okkkkk.i am so not exaggerating. dis is like a bloody fact. i never like flowers in msia, thought i was like insensitive or something but....it turns out flowers in msia are not worth to idolise.haha (i mean xnakla msia perfect sgt kan?sume ada.hehehe)

god, i miss winter!!!!and at my place, they have the BEST snow ever!!!!!not like in uk or usa ok. the snow here were like knee deep. like omg super duper syiokkkkk!!!!and the place just turns into a pure white kingdom. awwww..i so miss my place. anyway, pics for u. i know i said i don't want to upload pics tp kalau i dh baik hati, xyah la tegur okies?

before, u look at those pics, must tell u b4hand dat d pics are not photoshopped in any way except for the border and watermark. and dat also i don't use photoshop, too dumb to use.hehe use a much easier version of photoshop. anyways, the pics are also taken by a 1st generation of digicams which is reeeeeeeeealy bad quality. the kodak huge ugly one. in fact the memoray card also already not sold 4 years back. so just imagine how old d camera and how low was it on mega pixels?hehe ok2, just want to prove to u how purdyyyyy dis place is k. cannot be compared for sure one la....

1st up are the views from my hostel. even dat also edi sooooo gorgeous....*dreamy*

santekkkk kan????told ya. anyway guess what building is dis, hehe it's the place where we have the autopsy done. he heh heh. yup, it's just right behind of my hostel. see the trees all, awwwww love the whitening effect la....

and dis like d view from my window, like omg gle kan????dis is like a park which is situated just right in front of our hostel and it is like amaaaaaaaaaziiiiing. it is sooooo HUGEEEEEE and purdyyy of cos. i loooooove it so much. d first thing place i walk around was THIS park. and i like totally fell in love wif it. when i was in 1st, 2nd year, i was always alone walking around here but after a few of bad cases with the locals.(gangster all) then, no more weekly dose of awesomeness. huhu...later i show u more pics of the park ok.

and dis is like the view from my balcony, where u can see it's the only halal restaurant in our uni when i was in 1st year la. my fave dish would be chicken chilli!!!like msian food!soooo syiokkk!!ooooooh and also the shaslik..yummmayh!!!

still from the same view, this is the road dat we used to go to the anatomy building. once, my classmates and i were like bloody late for anatomy class cos we got too caught up playing snow fight.he heh heh good times dat was.

ok, now to the exciting part, the ever dreamy park!!!

dis is like d river dat u have to cross before u enter d park. see, just entering d park already sooooo purddyyyyyy.....❤❤❤

dis is d lake which is inside d park itself. during winter when the lake freezes and the ice is thick enough, there would be ice skating rink here. and when it is during d other 3 seasons, there are boat service here. and so cheap some more. less than 5 ringgit per person. not boat la. alaaaa like d bicycle on water thingy and can go ride wif frens all.usually at lake got this thing. cannot remeber what we call them. google la ok. anyways...damn cool rite?

and last pic of the entry, the ever gorgeous trees of the park. as u can see d trees look bloody short rite? but these trees are like amazingly tall ok. but the snow were like soooo deep.damn nice tau. all soft and fluffy la d snow. sighhh..when will i be able to go to a snowy place like dis?

now can see y i miss my old place so much?how can u not fall in love wif these beauties???tsk...tsk...

hehe

2009-12-22T20:14:00.000+08:00

i have just realised dat i haven't been uploading any pics. hehe bukanla just realised. dah realised lama dah pun. but i can't afford to upload any pics in dis laptop la and dis internet connection. they r just soooo bloody slowwwwwwww...zzzzz

hehe but mmgla. soooo...waitla till i am shifting to my new place and hopefully the internet connection wud be much better and i am goin to persuade my hubby to change his laptop wif me.hehe xpela, when i dah start keje leh la beli laptop baru kn?heheheheh

hopefully dpt chat dgn hubby malam ni. miss him so much la. haven't been talking about him much kan lately?huhu...whateva it is hubby, u r alwaaaaaaaays in my heart kan?kan?hihi

♡luvluv
p/s anyways, if u want to get those symbols kannnnn, u can go to stay-june site.

idiot

2009-12-22T20:04:00.000+08:00

god. i am soooo bloody lazy.like amazingly lazyyyyyyy.ARGHHHHHHHHHH!!!i sooo need my hubby now. he is like the one and ONLY person dat could push me into motivation.grrrr...i am just so pissed wif myself. cos all i did about my studies was for this whole entire day, played an ecg simulator game anddd rearranging the books and notes on the bed.hmph.

anyways, the other day i said i wanted to tell something or was it yesterday?ok whateva, i found out dat a very dear friend of mine may be marrying her EX-ABUSIVE boyfren.yes, ex and abusive. 2 majorly hateful words combined together for a HUGE NO-NO.i am like soooo pissed.

i dunno why but some girls who were in an abusive rships seem to be very very stupid. i am saying some ok. not ALL.some.like u come crying for help for protection and all and thennnnnnn....u just had to go back to the same guy. COME ON?????can't there be any more idiotic action than dat?????

i am not kidding. i got like dis other fren who was also in an abusive rship. when the guy like graduated from our uni, he was still sending her "love" letters. and she like said dat he misses him and loves him. ok..........which part she misses? the one where he pulls her hair and shove her to the wall, or the time he kicks her when she accidentally fall? this is not any made up stories ok. dis are like absolutely reality.y would i bloody one to create stuffs like dis?i dun even have readers.haha

anyways, i feel a bit sorry for their parents. like how do they feel to have someone hitting and treating ur child as a punching bag then to find out later, the child wants to be wif dat guy?hmmmm...damn sadistic rite?and i still cannot figure out how my fren could ever want to be with the guy back.

he is a MAJOR psycho ok. 1st breakup, d boy make a scene and acted like he was the victim. then, got back together, the boy didn't seem to be improving much behavior wise. just imagine, masa couple balik pun boleh gaduh and maki yg teruk gle and main kasar la. like apahal la kan?

then break up balik, jadi abusive, stalker and paranoid psychotic ex. like tell me, how the hell am i s'posed to accept someone like dat?i am like so bloody irritated wif my fren. she is like super hot and super nice, i just wish she could be super strong and not let the guy back into her life.

i mean u want to use the reason history and maybe bcos it's easier to open up to someone who knows u so well, then u r scared he might be the 'ONE'.bullshit ok. dat is like major stupidity and coward. all dis the one nonsense is soooo over rated. u think if jumpa the one, rship wud be much easier ke? rship, ANY rship is all about efforts la whether it is the one or not. who r we to say the one when we also didn't try and have rship wif others?damn sucky reason dontcha think?

i know he is psycho and pernah pukul i sume. tapi...dia la yg paham i pun slama ni and masa i ada major problem dulu pun, dia yg tolong i byk. tah2 dia je yg sanggup kahwin dgn i.

x rs nak marah ke tampar2 kawan ko tu bile ckp benda merepek camtu?maybe i am being harsh here but she was not the only one who is traumatised in dis case. there were so many ppl who got involved when she was in dat situation ok. we were all being very strong and supportive for her during those hard times only to know dat she will go back to d same guy.

how would dat have felt if u were in my place?tell me. it's not dat i'm not giving any chances to d guy. but it was 2 break-ups and almost a 6 year rships. so how many more years should i stand and give a chance?

to my dear fiend, i still pray dat u won't marry d guy and i wish u would put some sense in ur head. i love u and dat's why i would say dis to u. i tried being the supportive type but u seem to take advantage of it. maybe a harsh truth wud do some good to u.

if u ever do marry him, pls dun ivite us to ur wedding. i don't want to be a hypocrite by accepting him in ur life...again.

natalie???

2009-12-22T15:00:00.000+08:00

oh god, i am so bloody pissed dat russell didn't win survivor.like hello????natalie????of all ppl, natalie???? if it was shambo pun still ok, but NATALIE? u have gotta be kidding me.

jaison has to be the suckest sore loser ever. like come on!!!dat is like ur best fren, wouldn't u be happy if u didn't win but ur best buddy wins it????sheeeeshhh.like u can see in he interviews and reunion, he was practically bashing russel's art of game.like omg, plis lah. then why the hell did u actually follow russel's butt all dis while?like seriously???

and bloody stupid jurors too. like all the past seasons, the mastermind of the game is a DEFINITE winner. y winning must be based on wealth or what so eva???hello???it is a bloody game. ppl win bcos they play better game. benci gleeee

and omg natalie. she has got to be ze MOST annoying creature ever and definitely no shame. like she bloody knows she won't win the game if not for stupid jaison and jurors. ridiculous.

"my plan was to be underestimated"

girl,that is soooo over rated coming from u. u bloody have no impact at the game. godddd!!!!

ok, fine. sepatutnye x tgk laptop melainkan study and blogging tapiiii....survivor finale what.okla byess

a vow

2009-12-22T13:01:00.000+08:00

not to look at the laptop except for study and blogging.hehe hopefully i will stay true to my words..*shifty eyes* i know, surely cannot be trusted cos in my mind just now, was thinking to watch csi series in between breaks.arghhhh!!!y internet is so bloody addictive????

anyways....today is my "baby kecik's" b'day!(small baby)andddd i haven't wished her yet bcos hubby and i don't celebrate or even wish bday. (except for my parents la, cos surely bengkek and emo if x wish and they wud never try to understand) ok,b4 nak ckp i religious sgt ke what-so-ever.lantak la kan.if org tu suke nak try jauhkan diri dari bida'ah, yg korang nak anti sgt tu pejadahnye?suke tau nak main2 ckp org tu berlagak beriman la sume.irritating gle...

like i had dis one fren of mine, when i started to cover up properly i.e wear scarf cover chest, blouse cover the butt, wear loose pants, she commented like i look like ustazah. eh hello???evry moslem shud cover like dat so wat is wif dis ustazah thingy?although it is a compliment for me....but some ppl just can't take it well dontcha think?benci gleee...kang dari org tu nak pakai leklok sume x jd sbb org2 camni la.bahhhhhh..

anyways...dat wasn't the main point i am writing dis. i wanted to tell u about my ever dearest baby kecik. i call her baby kecik bcos we refer my hubby as baby besar.heheheh sweet kan? anyways, she is like my best classmate during my uni years.damn syiokkkk ok lepak wif her. she used to live opposite of my place so she would come over after isya' or maghrib and lepak until 1 or 2 am. dgn hubby skali lepak.bes gleee...

when my parents came for graduation, i told my parents to call her "baby". so dat's wat my parents called her all the way. then my mum asked about "baby" to my other friends, everyone was blur. they were like "who is dis baby?" when they found out who is baby, he heh heh, i don't think anyone manage to accept and comprehend d reason y i call her baby.heheheheh

cos u just got to see her.she is RIDICULOUS.i could guess y others wud never call her baby, cos she never would have fit into the baby persona.but...wif me, it's a whole other story, we baby talk wif each other most of the time and treat each other like baby so yalah, of cos she is my BABY.

okla fine, merepek sbnrnye, wanted to write her a bday entry here eventho she doesn't read my blog. in fact, she doesn't read except for news. not schoolbooks, but news. sigh. i am the one who will be reading ALL her ex-schoolmates blog and update her on all her friends whereabout. in fact, she created facebook so dat i can stalk her frens freely and without suspicions.*tsk tsk* i am so touched really. cos i was complaining to her dat most of the blogs have been privatised(if exist such word) and i don't want to look like stalker by requesting password.huhu...then one night she came and gave me her password and username.*wheeeeeeeeee*

i know cacat right, but i am not ashamed to admit dat i'm a HARDCORE blog stalker. i think i had probably read maybe 60% of the blogs dat ever existed in msia.and when i like certain blogs, i make sure i read all the blogs dat the writer has ever written. mmg khatam habis2an la.i.e fourfeetnine audrey, i read evry single entry since the one from xanga.i am halfway into xiaxue. so yup, no cover up there okies. if u want me to read ur blog also can, just put the blog's name at the comments, then i go and have a look okies?no need to pay.heheheheh

ok, now mmg terpesong abis from the part i'm telling i wanted to write bday entry.heheheh i dunno y i'm like dis. always all over d place. ok2, i'm not goin to write her a bday entry today cos then it would defeat the purpose of cannot wish on birthday what. so....today i just want to tell u guys dat...

I MISS MY BABY KECIK!!!
I L❤VEEEEEEEE U!!!

hehe damn lame right? i know. okla,laters.byesss

update

2009-12-20T05:34:00.001+08:00

i know i haven't been updating for some time eventho i have been wanting to do so. ok, don't start blame it on the pc games cos i haven't been able to download any new ones. still courting to find a good one plusss a good torrent downloader site(if any of this make any sense) nak cari tmpt torrent download baru la.mininova has been so far ze ever greatest one but...now it has been shut down due to legal actions.grrrr....can't they just let us commoners to download it freely???*batting eyelashes+big puppy eyes*

i mean kalau kite download benda, muvi for instance, xdela kite g wayang n duduk dgn bukan muhrim sume, i mean elak kan zina apa...dpt pahala okies.(ok b4 anyone start bashing about zina ke apa psl wayang,just keep ur opinions to urself. i really couldn't care less wat u think.if u want to bash me, pls do it in ur own blog.really)

ok, if anyone knows a good replacement of mininova, pls do tell me so.hehe *wink2*

so anyways, main reason i haven't been blogging is the wrist and elbow joint of the working hand is in pain. grrr...nak main game pun susah tau.i have dis condition where my ligaments are very close to the tendon at both of my wrist joints. malas nak explain apa tu ligaments and tendon, pandai2la korang google ok? so what happen is, i can't use my wrist joints excessively for example, a BIG no-no to badminton, doorknobs yg kne pusing2 and even writing excessively. i am NOT pulling ur leg. xde faedah k. was diagnosed wif dis condition when i was 17. dah la ada high risk of osteoarthritis, (my sis ada) so u can understand la the agony i am in now.huhu...

sbnrnya ada benda nak cite tp setelah type lama2, wrist ku sakit kembali.maybe later today okies? k la, nak go watch clicknetwork.tv.xleh tido laaa....wat's wrong wif me?hmmm...

addiction

2009-12-18T18:21:00.000+08:00

u know when u r addicted to pc games when...
1. the sound of ym showing ppl going online or offline pissed u off.
2. when ur hand starts shaking but u are still playing the game.
3. when u wake up, u think about the game 1st.
4. when u have been on the chair for more than 5 hours and u just don't feel ur butt sore.
5. when all u did the whole day was playing the game.
6. u had forgotten to take ur bath.
7. u are fine without any food or water. in fact, they are considered distraction.
8. and the list just goes on and on...

hehe dah nak abis dah main chocolatier 2, pleasela dpt download paradise beach pulak. okla, nak mandi. byess

it's ALL about the money

2009-12-18T05:15:00.000+08:00

back when i was young, (ok 24 tahun cam agak tua la kan,i feel old tau.shhh) i used to have this HUGE dreams of having lots of money, being successful and able to buy all those benda merepek that i have always wanted.having a huge gorgeous house, dream car(s) hehe,dannnn macam2 la of cos.

and now reaching the stage when i can have it, i hate it. i hate it a lot. i was brought up thinking money IS everything. so i got myself all pumped up about having all my dreams based on the money factor. then after like what, 17/18 years of studying and having my future planned based on how i used to dream, everything just stopped. i remembered telling my parents a day before i graduated, i just want all of these to stop.i didn't want it anymore.

my parents were ballistic of the idea of course. they still believe money is everything. academics are the only way to be successful and ppl will look up to u and so on.the idea of having titles in front of ur name seems to be such a delight. the need to impress ppl and having high standard in live becomes necessity. i mean, come on. we know that all these comes with a price. and a very expensive price indeed.

growing up, my father was away a lot. he was a very very busy man. i only remembered him as a very fierce lion.he was definitely a scary man.we never talk much, the only time we ever talk is when he need to scold me.really.when i became a prefect in high school, i had to get to the school earlier than normal students so, i wasn't able to take the bus anymore. my father had to drive me there instead.

at first, it was really awkward and hard. i hated him for always scolding me all these while without me explaining. so, one morning, my father burst out angry at me because i was not trying to have any conversation with him when he is trying really hard. then it hit me.i was being very ego, i was a teen, nevertheless that shud not be an excuse.

so i start trying hard and harder each and every day. it felt good.i discovered that i manage to open up to my father better than my mum.it was easy telling him about feelings and secrets. despite having fights like "old couples"(dis is what i always use to describe my r/ship wif my father), he is still the person that i go to whenever i needed someone.

things have changed recently due to our differences in the matter of money and job. we just stop talking. he never tried understanding me but he tried persuading me becoming my old self. and i am still stubborn not to become who i was once upon a time. few months i tried to talk to him but he was full of anger, so he would just bashed me with hurtful comments until one day, i decided not to call up anymore.

i am sorry that i am not strong enough to listen and bare with those hurtful comments. i really am. cos i miss him a lot. and i know i should give him a chance to soften up as it is partly my fault for just changing too abruptly.i am sorry that i gave up.i never give up. but this time i gave up.

i am sad, my heart felt heavy with guilt and the deepest sorrow that u could not imagine. for i still long for the same man i go to everytime i needed someone. but i know, things are no longer will ever be the same.and i do regret that it has to be this way for us.

i just hope that deep in his heart he still loves me like he used to.and maybe he really hasn't change like what i think.and maybe, time will heal our r/ship. and maybe, we would survive this after all.

but....

if things will remain as it is forever, my only hope is that he will know that he is still the man that i love and need for every breath i take. i love u...

emotionless

2009-12-15T12:41:00.000+08:00

for those who are not close to me, they would usually call me insensitive, insensitive andddd insensitive. i don't mind actually, sometimes i really am or maybe i try to be. i find that emotions are somewhat unnecessary at times.

for instance la kan, korang prasan x, ada org kan bile dgr saudara jauh br ninggal, trus serta merta nanes non- stop cam hiba haru abis la. ok, aku paham bile ko nak hiba2 bile tu mak ko ke apa, tp kekdg tu kannnn ada org mmg over la.cam rapaaat je nanes2 pehtu macam2la dia akan cite psl si mati td. tup2 pas beberapa lama, okkkkk je aku tgk. aku rs derang xnak rs left out kot. yola, sume nanes, kot2 ti org accuse derang xde perasaan. motif nak nanes sbb nk tunjuk kat org? x koseeee...

kalau x kenal aku, mmg ko susah la nk tgk emotion kat muka aku ni melainkan hepi dgn xde perasaan. kekadang tu pn aku x tahu nape aku xde perasaan esp time2 yg panik la, penah aku nye handphone curik depan mata pehtu aku kne tumbuk tangan laki tu kuat2 sampai hp aku jatuh. pehtu aku just masukkn la hp aku kat poket sluar pehtu bgtau klasmate aku ni, jaga2 dgn mamat kat blkg bas tu.

klasmate aku cam "HA????pahal ko rileks sgt nih?"ntahlerrrr asalkn hp slamat aku dh ok je. pehtu ada skali aku hampir kne rompak kul 8pm camtu dgn kawan aku sorang nih, pehtu aku bilik, aku igt lagi, aku cam brg kat atas katil kawan aku pehtu aku cam ,"td kne kejar dgn org jahat." pehtu kawan aku pn yoooo kan je la. yola, rumate kan, paham la perangai aku camne.

hihi ntahla pelik ke.xdela gak. kan?kan?pe motif cite aku pn x tahu.

oooo ada ada. kekdg tu susah gak bile nampak emotionless ni, org slalu tend to igt ko insensitive kan. (ok aku dh ckp awal2), andddddddd bykla aku nye actions tu x dpt dicerminkan bile aku bercakap ataupn bile ko tgk aku la kiranya. so....bykla speculation yg aku terpaksa tangani selama ni. antaranye bile aku gaduh besar dgn rumate aku (ni lain punye), pehtu aku cam xde perasaan je padahal aku yg kne fitnah. rumate aku lak yg over nanes2 kat sume org. pehtu aku la yg nampak jahat sgt.aihhhh...

tula dalam Islam suro bersangka baik. sbb kalau x de dlm scene tu sume, manala nak tahu benda betul mana ke dok. tul x?

aku tahu aku tulis merepek je dah ni.okla, len kali la plak.byesss

puasa

2009-12-14T16:25:00.000+08:00

i haven't been fasting for more than a month now or maybe 2 so my stomach is having a bit of adjustment when i started fasting today.huhu...it has been acting up a bit. the wind, grumbles and all, the usual symptoms of "puasa". cam la x biasa kan.hehe

i know i have been ignoring this blog these past few days. it started with an event that cause major depression. okla, xdela major gle tapi leh tahan gak la buat aku sentap and sedih. bekalan makanan tuk bahagia (comfort food) pun dah abis dlm masa 2 ari tau. punyela depres abis. and mmg byk gle la makanan bahagia tu bukannye skit. huhu...so i am left with nothing now food wise. xpela, nak top up dgn famous amos la esok,heheheh.

anyways, nerves are getting the best of me. i just hope the nerves are settling soon cos i can't afford to waste my time trying to comfort myself everytime. (money, physical and time wise) xkanla keja nak makan comfort food je kan, manala x kembung pipi nanti. tambahhhh lagi depres.huhu...

hoping for the best and of cos praying hard. either or the event that is going to happen, i mean any event pun la between the 2 in mind mmg akan buat aku ke-nervousan gle nye la.huhu....sadisnye hidup.

okla,enough for now. i am in a very hungry mode. xdela hungry sgt tapi perut carik pasal la.hmph.
byesss

i hate

2009-12-13T16:16:00.000+08:00

i hate hypocrites and the fact that i am becoming one too because acting that i am "liking" them. definitely makes me one too.i don't care that even if it's a good deed to do so, i am still a hypocrite.

i hate that some thinks money is everything. i mean if u do think so by all means, i'm so fine with it. but once u start dragging everyone into ur ideal thinking, i so hate u for it.
suke ati la kan org nak pk camne, kalau ko rs duit penting sgt jangan la nak start kritik2 org bile derang buat decision yg akan rugikan duit derang. it's their money, lantak la.benci.
pehtu, orang yg suke sgt harta ni, derang ske sgt berkira dgn org. prasan x? pehtu nak ajar anak derang jgn berkira dgn adik bradik. like hello????cermin diri sendiri boleh x? benci.mmg hipokrit la (double benci)

i hate that word hate is such a strong word.but i don't really despise them much, so hate is a much proper word.

i hate that when certain parents think their child is infallible when the child follow their wishes and when they are not the child is plain horrible and failure? like wtf? sorry to have let u know about it this late, ur child have their own thinking, what u may try to "brain wash" them, may not be what ur child thinks.x sampai bebile anak tu bodoh ok...

i hate that some ppl use the excuse of working and leaving child behind to give a better life for their child. like i said, some. when the truth is, u r just bloody plain selfish.

i hate that the excuse of changing jobs because of the pay is more acceptable than the reason religion wise. like hateful. plain hatred.

i hate that some use the religion for their own benefit. or even people.taking advantages on those who are in need or too nice.hate.hate.

i hate that in life u had to learn the harsh way to make u a better person. hmph.

i hate that i am saying this out loud but it won't change a damn thing.

nyedih...

2009-12-12T00:44:00.000+08:00

sedih gle....i don't even know how to describe how sedih i can be.dunnola...maybe nothing is meant to be. and it will all be because of my faults...huhu...

what????

2009-12-11T23:27:00.000+08:00

ok geram gle tadi. internet was like 1.0 Mbps.like helo???? penah x ada org ada net connection 1.0?arghhhh!!!stres gle.dulu dok kat tempat ulu pun internet laju gle.balik msia yg konfem lagi maju yg teramat tapi internet nauzubillah. stres gle.hmph.

anyways, adalah nak meluahkan hati rs gembira sbb.....harapan makin cerah je untuk tercapai. wheeeee~ =D sekarang ini azam:
1.blaja dgn tekun, sume benda yg penting harus di finger tips apabila waktu dah sampai.
2. biar la badan ku ini cun skit untuk tatapan tersayang. hehe (padahal x sedar arini x exercise.nyeh3)
3. nak jaga kulit muka ku sume biar licin haluuuusss gitu. aritu hubby balik, muka hodoh byk jerawat.
mintak2la derang x buat hal. nak gakkkkk kuar time nak beromantis.
4.buang bulu badan.he heh heh (dgn muka gatal)
5. kemas bilik!!!!(ok, bilik bukannya x kemas tapi tidak dilap sebaik mungkin sbb ketiadaan suami
maka nya, malas.owh)

okla tu je list buat sementara waktu, tapi yang 2 paling atas tu WAJIB.huhuuu....susah2 hidup. terpaksa la stop tgk cite series yg byk boleh dikhatam ini.sadis...(walaupun dah khatam beberapa series, nakkkk gak sedih)

zaman baru ku akan bermula soon. adalah perasaan yg sgt bercampur aduk. nervous byk, excited byk, perasaan-less pun byk.i am just hoping that i don't screw dis up. but dah xleh turn back pun, dah decided. i just have to be strong and just get through it. may all the lucky stars are shining brightly on our way and moga Allah permudahkan sumenya. moga kekuatan, kecekalan dan ketabahan dikurniakan di atas diri hamba Mu yg TERsgtla lemah.tenangkan la kegelisahan dan kegundah gelana an hati.amin...

can't hardly wait!

2009-12-11T17:12:00.000+08:00

after 2 hari, i'm like only 2 weeks away from my ultimatum happiness again. it is such a greaaaaaaaatttt feeling to have ur power recharge every now and then and knowing ur special someone will be there when u are going to have a very big change in ur life. i mean it doesn't matter if it is a good or a bad change, i really like my special someone to be there for me. a change will always be veryyy nerve wrecking.always.

anyways, i'm really excited for him to come back and....okla, plis la Allah let this happen. plis let it be good for us.pray for us that everything will go as it supposed to and let it be a good adventure for us. *wink*

extreme makeover home edition

2009-12-11T10:45:00.000+08:00

i was crying buckets since last night and no, it was not like what u may think. it is because i was watching "home makeover: home edition". (ok, fine i know is should be studying instead buttttt....can't help it)it wasn't like any home makeover kinda thing. not the usual one. u would still get the oooooh-ing and aaaaah-ing plus MORE!

em:he is a show where by they do makeovers of house for those who really really deserves it. ini bukan cam kat msia k, sbb bile kite topup tuk celcom baru boleh ada "can" tuk dpt rumah bes. tapi ni mmg untuk org2 yg mmg deserve la. ada tu mmg miskin sgt pehtu rumah dia plak kne langgar dgn kereta, mmg truk abis la rumah tu. dah pulak tu share 2 family anak beranak. dahla mmg kecik rumah tu, pastu dah kne langgar laaagi kecik. siannn mmg miskin sgt2 sampaikn pintu nak betulkan pun x de duit.

ada pulak satu family ni derang x apply pun nak makeover rumah wpun mmg memerlukan sgt2. family ni mmg baik gleee la. org susah tp x meminta langsung. pehtu dulu anak pempuan dia ni penah derma bone marrow kat satu baby 6 bulan tuk leukemia yg masa tu baby tu cam mati la klu x dpt bone marrow. so cam mak baby tu nak berterima kasih kat family ni. mmg sweet la episod ni. and mmg leh nampak la family ni baikkkk sgt2. sukeeeee.

favourite episode so far season 7, scott's family. pasal minah ni dgn 3 anak pempuan dia. suami dia polis and mati masa tgh kejar org jahat. lepas tu dia cam dpt semangat nak tlg org lain yg jugak survivor lepas org kesayangan mati dlm service, dia pun jadi presiden C.O.P.S. di mana organization ni tlg org yg trauma after org kesygan meninggal dlm service.

dah pulak tu cite pasal ibu tunggal and hilang best friend, aku mmg pantang la dgr dua combination ni. yela, selama ni suami dia je kawan dia tetiba plak meninggal yg x expect.siannnn...mmg syahdu. pastu dia ada plak wat ayat camni, "last time, when i had just lost him, i told everyone that i could not just reach the hands that were trying to help." siannn kan? and now, she has touched so many people's life macam tu je. just by doing what she loves and with the concern for others. and yang paling suka minah ni, sbb when she is at the lowest point of her life, dia boleh pulak pk pasal org lain nak get through macam mana. sweet gle...

memang besla cite ni. derang mmg cam akan ntolong org tu change their lives for the better. bukan sahaja tuka kan rumah, kekadang tu kasik study grant, grant tuk bagi kat community, dan byk laaa.mmg macam2 derang tolong family2 ni. yela, lantak la org nak kata membazir kasik makeover over2 sume kat org yg x kaya sume tapiiiii... kan bes kalau impian yg konon2 bayangan leh jadi bayangan and especially kat org2 yg deerving macam ni. kan mmg elok sgt la derang dpt. ni x, memanjang la celebrity la dpt sponsor,idola la. i mean ye la ko nak dpt publisiti, tapi kan bagus kalau org2 yg mungkin dh selama hidup kerja nk matai, kais pagi makan pagi, kais petang mkn petang, banyakkkk problem derang selama ni. kalau derang dpt tgk wujudnye miracle, xke cam rasa harapan kobar2. sian la org2 camni..

loveeeeeeeeeeeeeee u ty&co.and a very HUGE applause to all of u and abc.com for this definitely great show. a very inspirational show indeed. 2 thumbs up!

should u watch the show i say?

DEFINITELY! it's not everyday that you get to witness a fairy-tale ending. =D

can't wait!

2009-12-10T13:17:00.000+08:00

life has been sooooo nice these days and it would be better starting tonight. hihi bes gleeeeeeeeee ok.sgt menantikan keadaan rumah yg kosong tanpa perlu berusaha memakai tudung dan stokin untuk makan malam. boleh makan malam bebile yg nak.syokkkkkk!

dah khatam cerita trauma.hihi bes gle dpt tgk series tanpa perlu pk pape.( tapi still blaja k at the same time) tido tuk beberapa ari telah menjadi kucar- kacir sbb nak try blaja sebyk yg mungkin tp nak jugakkkkk entertainment maka, hidup pun agak kucar kacir jugak. tapi xpe, itu sume untuk masa depan yg diidamkan dan supaya berjalan lancar.

hopefully sume baik je tuk hubby arini.biarlah kasik dia hepi skeeeeettt.=/

2009-12-09T15:04:00.002+08:00

hihi. dis was my 1st testi to my hubby when i discovered that i like him a lot. wonder if u actually remember this kan? loveeeee u! =D

enjoyla, dgr lagu ni skali.(jiwang mode)

azam

2009-12-09T14:25:00.000+08:00

berazam nak upload gamba ari2 for hubby there. give him the rough idea of what is happening here while he is there. tp apakan daya, si bos kecik adalah susah betul nak dok posing leklok.mmg menyakitkan jiwa tapiiiiii...let's just make the best out of it. bukannya aku komplen kat dia, akan berubah pun kan prestasi dia pun. haishhh...maka, smalam ada 1 keping gamba je psl bos kecik. arini jgn la ckp, mmg xdela. yg smalam tu pun gegar abis. aiseh2...

yeaaaahhhh inilah bos kecik yg sentiasa di dalam topik hangat. cam toot tau dia ni. lepas MIL balik je, dia kata dia nak beli aunty yg baru tuk ganti kan aku. aka cam hahhhh?????ishhhhh sesedap mulut je,. mmg tgh anti gle dgn sume org skang ni. baru malam td dia start main leklok dgn aku. kalau x tuuuuu, kne pegang pun menangis. apekah?????? makaaaaaa....malam tadi la baru dpt amik gamba dia balik. kalau x, "goodbte my love, goodbye" la...

ni gamba dia konon2 nak amik gamba aku guna henpon tipu dia tu ha...yola2, asalkn ko x nanes cukup la baby oi...

ni kucing kesayangan at the moment, hihi. siannn dia. kaki luka2 sume sbb allergic dgn x tahu pebenda. tu yg bawak dia masuk bilik dgn sangkar skali sbb senang nk cuci luka sume and kasik ubat. alhamdulillah kaki dia dah x berdarah sume dah tp still berkerak and berketak. maka, persoalannya adalah apa yg dia allergic dgn ni????ishhhh...

skang dia suka sgt tau nak tdo bawah kertas minyak yg guna tuk alaskan lantai sangkar dia. penat2 beli kertas, ko plak cakar2 sbb tanak tdo atas dia. terasaaaa ati den.huhu.. yg paling x tahan tuuuu, kul 3 am dgn 5.30am laaaaa favourite dia nak meraung2 mintak kasih syg. huwaaaa mmg skang tdo x lena sbb mmg kne bgn usap dia mlm2 buta.boleh x????usap la dia sampai dia rs puas ati.hampassss...

cute kan saya????

yayay. malam ni hubby kata nak chat.hihi sukeeee sgt2. can't wait!!!!!

muahaha

2009-12-09T13:16:00.000+08:00

hahahahahah nampak x apa yang kelakar kat screen ni?hahahhahahahahah xpe kot.....

tv series

2009-12-09T10:18:00.000+08:00

omg omg. byk gleeee episod nak kne khatam. sambil membaca sambil mendgr.bes gleeee.sememangnye itula favourite. hihi eventhough i do wait anxiously for new episodes of the series that i watch, i don't really watch them. paham x?hehe aku ni bukannye pemintak tv ke muvi sgt sbnrnye, aku mmg bookworm sejati. aku tgk series pun kekdg leh tgk dlm masa 5 min.cukup paham dia nye intipati dan isi2 penting dh cukupla. aku x tahu nape aku xleh nak dok senyap bila aku tgk tv ke muvi. muvi lagi la abis aku leh tgk dlm masa 5 minit.hehehe download punyela susah2 tp tgk x samapai brape minit pun. so kalau nk suro aku tgk benda tu lelama, aku kne baca buku la sambil dgr je cite tu. i know, xde feeling tp xpela. asalkn tgk cukup la.hehe hubby konfem bengkek je dgn pengakuan aku ni. yola, asik memanjang dia ajak tgk cite, aku dok kejap pehtu dah larikan diri tp slalu laaa aku dok sampi abis gak dgn buku kat tgn tp. tp still la kn?

ko tahu klu hubby aku, aku mintak tgk cite aku, dia leh wat donno je.hampas.com btul. geram tau. org punyela pulun tgk cite dia. dia kalau tgk cite org alasan lebit dr 10 kertas A4.geram geram...

okla, nak sambung tgk trauma episode 5,hihi.bes laaaa hidup camni.byesss

whoopeee!

2009-12-09T00:49:00.000+08:00

some time soon, i am going to have the house all by myself!yippeee!it's been for a while that i have not been on my own without a care of the others.hehe it will only be me with bibik so hopefully it will really happen. and jgnla pulak ada org menggatal nak tinggal blkg gak sbb aku ada pehtu konon2 nak kasik alasan nak jaga rumah padahal aku tahu ko sbnrnye mmg x penah nak ikut hal keluarga tapi ko just nak guna alasan supaya ko nampak baik dan hakikatnya sentiasa ada org backing walaupun tak benar.hehe panjang x explanation?biasala kan aku. over. korang x paham kat atas ni xpe. mmg x patut dipahamkan.

x kisahla.harap2 mmg dapatla aku dok tinggal sesrg.hihi sukeeeee.leh la aku berguling atas katil sampai kul 4 pm ke jalan bogel dalam rumah.eh silap silap pakai sexy je boleh, ada bibik skali tinggal. xpe, macam tu pun aku dah suke gleeee...ngeeee

OMG

2009-12-08T19:43:00.000+08:00

omg omg omg!!!i have just known about the existence of ww.surfchannel.com whereeeee i can watch any movie or series for FREE online which means i don't have to download!!!omg yayyy!!!

and that's the death of my study week.hihi

siannn...

2009-12-08T13:41:00.000+08:00

sian hubby. dia mesti tgh worried gle la kat sana. stresnyeeeeee x dpt teman dia. kan bes dpt teman dia, lantakla kalau keje dok tido kat seblah dia je pun, tapiiiii at least dptla tgk dia ok ke x, tlg mana yg patut. (okla, maybe xdela tido je kan keje aku)huhu...

he mmg x penah ada problem with the classes ke exam ke. exam pun fail skali je pernah. pehtu sbb x penah fail la kan, depres sgt2 dia.sian la...bukan cam bini dia ni ha. dok la ada problem dgn classes la, lectures la, exams la, siap masuk expell list la, walaupun dah slalu kena benda2 camtu pun, masiiiiiih gak time exam rs nak terberak dan muntah. (startla symptom2 IBS.hampas) so, mmg leh bygkan la how worried is my hubby sbb dia x slalu kena cam aku dulu.siannn hubby...

mintak2la sume pun ok je, which i am sure insyaAllah ok sumenye. but he just have to work for it now and leave it to Allah. plissss Allah, we really need this.doa2kan plis...

big W

2009-12-08T01:27:00.000+08:00

it's 1.00 am and i am still not asleep. trying to push in all the information i can get as much i can that i will need for the future job. god!!! and i'm like dead tired eventhough i have just started and eventhough i have no idea how much information was retained in my puny brain. huhu...

hopefully i will be able to chat with the hubby at least a bit today. i am worried. he is there all alone and just told me that he might be getting into some trouble.hmmm..i really do hope that the problem won't let pull him down and make him sad or anything. the fact that i'm not there is really bugging me. my hubby does not worry much u see, so when he said that he is worried, i know it must be because of me. he only worries things when it involves me hurting or getting depressed. i know this problem may (which i pray not!) cause our plan to change a bit and it wouldn't be for the better consequence or happy ending.

so i am now praying hard that Allah will just let us get through this the easiest way after all the dramas and the not so nice things happening to us and help us with many many miracles. insyaAllah...

pity hubby sesorang je kat sana, i know i am at fault for making him worried and stuff. even though we are like separated for thousands of kilometres, i still managed to make him worried sick. (the only talent that i seem to have without losing touch.sigh..)

i am so sorry for my hubby. i wish FIL wasn't taken away from us too early. and being the first son in his family, automatically all the responsibilities were dropped down on his shoulders. at first, it didn't feel too bad and now, we are starting to feel the weight of the responsbilities. ok maybe i shouldn't use the word we cos i am not sure if he is realising it. now, when i think of future, i would have to put in at least extra 2 people in my plans so u can just imagine the haywire in my head at the moment.

things were never easier these days. thoughts including. and dreams. negativity can somehow be an overpowering power to the happy thoughts that are now hidden quietly in the back of my head. i miss life when i can be careless, free, day dreamer, selfish, and mainly happy.

not that i am implementing i am unhappy now but it was a different happy back then. i was naive, innocent and never i put so many thoughts in my action. the vast difference of who i am now, cautious, cautious and more cautious. sigh...

even sleep is getting harder to do these days, i had to think of something really non related to my current situation and family in order to get my winks. currently, i am dating ed westwick and my ex-hubby is orlando bloom. we had a 2 year old marissa together. and now orlando bloom wants me back but i am trying to move on with my life. hehe yes, i am not making this up. this is really what i had to think about every single night to put me to sleep. something like a bedtime story.nyeh3

okla,do pray for us. i am starting to crap too much.must hit the books back.byess

2009-12-07T12:02:00.001+08:00

I wanna make you smile whenever you're sad

Carry you around when your arthritis is bad
All i wanna do is grow old with you

I'll get your medicine when your tummy aches
Build you a fire if the furnace breaks
Oh it could be so nice, growing old with you

I'll miss you
I'll kiss you
Give you my coat when you are cold

I'll need you
I'll feed you
Even let ya hold the remote control

So let me do the dishes in our kitchen sink
Put you to bed if you've had too much to think
I could be the one who grows old with you
I wanna grow old with you..

dah balik dah....

2009-12-07T11:33:00.001+08:00

so what happened was yesterday, MIL's flight was brought forward. so imagine the shock i was in when i heard the news 2 hours before MIL is reaching here. baru je meluahkan perasaan pasal kepulangan ibunda tetiba trus kne adapt. huwaaaaa.terkezut gle k...

anyway, bos kecik adalah sgt hepi cam nak mati. setiap kali airport,mmg hepi la sbb ada yg kereta mainan leh naik n gerak2 tu. mmg syok abis la. setiap kali g airport mesti abis rm4.rugi gleeee. tp apakah nak buat? kena gak la ikuttttt je si kenit tu punye arahan. kalau x, mmg nak muntah la dgr dia menjerit2 and sume org pandang. hehe

anyway, gamba atas ni la bukti dia bermain2 dgn tractor dia tu tapi kali ni tuk pertama kali nya, dia x mintak duit nak masuk.hihi.bes gleeee. save la rm 4. leh beli eskrim mcd 2 kon, kan bes lg camtu. pehtu kan, keji gle tau bos kecik ni, dia wat tractor tu cam dia punyela kesimpulannye. padahal dia xnak naik lg dh, pegi la main2 kat railing.pehtu nampak de budak naik tractor tu, trussssss zaaaaaas dia pun lari g kat tractor tu. keji kan? nyampah tau bebudak ni kalau dh start nk jeles2 x tentu pasal. (walaupun aku rs masa aku kecik dulu pun camtu,tsk)

pehtu kemain nak eskrim mcd, siap order tu nak de strawberry topping, jilat cam 5 kali je kot pehtu tanak.paksa dia abiskan gak pehtu ko nak tahu pe dia jawab

"aunty,kan slalu marah baby bile mkn eskrim pagi2. tanakla makan sbb slalu marah"

amboi amboi si kenit.sedap2 je kan ko kasik alasan. grrrr...ni yg geram gak klu dpt anak handal sgt.susah tul.

gamba adalah sgt blur. bos kecik mmg xleh nak dijadikan model gamba sbb xkan la dok senyap2. mmg suke wat x paham bahasa tau..tsk tsk

akan diakhiri kan entri ini dengan cerita pasal blackhead kat hidung.hihi mmg menggelikn tau. kan hubby balik haritu kejap 3 minggu lebih so mmg xdela nak wat keje biasa cam pakai mask, pakai pore pack remover tu sume, pehtu mmg baru smalam la sempat nak buang and wat benda tu sume. gle geli tau.bykkkk sgt2. geram la..apala pores aku ni x kecik2. dah macam2 produk try, x gak kecik2 pun aku tgk. apa ar nak guna?korang tahu x?aku penah guna clarins serum pore minimizer. skang tgh guna mask dia plak.tensi...tuk yg pore pack remover tu lak, aku guna ettucia pore pack remover with charcoal. aku rs ni mmg yg d best la tuk pore pack. cam biore pun x sehebat dia la. bagi aku la k. okla, enjoyla dgn gamba geli di bawah ni k?byessss

diri terasa aman apabila pukul 9.30 am pagi tadi xde yang mengetuk pintu.hehe amaaaaaaaaaaaaannnnn.....

it's time like this

2009-12-06T15:45:00.001+08:00

it's time like dis,i miss u.
when we are already going into 2010, yet we still don't have teleporter.
when we are living in the same world, yet there are 6 hours difference.
when i am awake and waiting for the ym tab to blink, u are still in faraway land.
when i have already been awake for 20 hours, and u would be all ready for the chat.
when i see couples having each other, my heart would ripped inside.
when i lie on my bed to sleep, i felt the empty space beside. then i would try to cover the bed with my body and pillows as much as i can so the bed won't feel too big for me all by myself.
when i am in front of my laptop, and all i could hope for was the ym tab of ur name to blink for my call.
when i am all alone,i would always think of how happy i would be if u are by my side.

i miss u so much.even after almost 3 years of together, there is never a second i would like to change u for another person or thing. even after the many times of goodbyes, i still have not the strength of not having u around.and i still have the same sad dreadful feeling when i am thinking about this.

when will forever come?when will time give in?

2009-12-06T12:54:00.002+08:00

Love Letter from WiddlyTinks.com

anti-social

2009-12-06T12:45:00.000+08:00

MIL will be back home tomorrow. at first i was very reluctant for her to go but thennnnnn....now that she is coming back,i'm not that excited either.hmmm...i'm very weird like that. mungkin mekanisme "adapting" sudah sebati dalam diri selama MIL pergi. and nowwww i have to adapt all over again.sigh.. i know benci kan?i dunnola why i'm like this. blame it on my nature on hating change.huhu...

anyway...ppl are having a hard time understanding why i like to be in a room so much. i am only out of the room for food, clean up and feed the cats, take my laundry to the washing machine, pick up my clean clothes from MIL's room and i try my best to only get out of the room once a day.no kidding.especially at night, u will definitely not see even my shadow.serius.dead serius.

the thing is i am not much of a people person. people tend to think that i am one cos i can talk a LOT when i'm around ppl. i can talk to strangers randomly. i can mingle around very well. i can even talk to any parents like my friends. and i don't look awkward doing so. even my sis thinks that i'm a very much people person.

well sis,u r dead wrong. i'm not. seriously i never was. i just talk a lot at the presence of other people cos there is nothing better to do and like, i mean,if u ever go to a party, xkan la nak dok tepi pandang org kan?sooo...talking was a better much of an option definitely. anddd... before u ask me why i ever go to parties, i don't like go to parties much or open houses. sometimes i was forced to do so or i was dragged to the incident place.betul.before nak pegi keluar tu,tgk la, kang start la pening la,migraine la, sakit perut la,malas la.aishh mmg reluctant abis.

mesti korang nak kata aku ni sombong abis kan? xdela, i still gak masih suke memvisit2 org once in a blue moon. and kalau org tu yg disayangi dan bes, lagi la slalu visit. random visit mmg sukeeee sgt. tapi bile dlm big crowd sume, x suke la. why g party or kuar ramai2 when all u want to chat is with one person je?or 2?tul x?baiklaaaaa dating2 kn?kan lg bes camtu.hihi. penah skali tu dtg bilik kawan kul 9 am sbb terbgn dari mimpi pasal akhirat.haaaa see, kan lagi ada feeeel camtu.heh

plak tu masa uni, mmg ktrg de bilik tuk duduk,tdo,makan,blaja,tv, pape je la,kira cam "all in under one room". library ada cuma jauh sgt dari hostel.malam masuk cepat.(4 seasons la kata kan) so, mmg xde kot nak menggatal kuar malam except kalau mmg sengaja nak mintak diri kne tumbuk or rompak. kitchen pulak kat luar bilik and kena share dgn 40 org. bayangkan??? dahla campur dgn sume bangsa dan jantina, malas nak berpakaian sopan2 nak masak. plak tu, dapur cuma start bukak kul 6pm(guna gas).cam adekah patut??? xkan nak kebulur kan.mmg masak dlm bilik je la. mmg xde la study hall sampai masuk 5th year dan masa tu pun dah start dok apartment dgn suami kat luar. mmg x sempat merasa. apsal aku cite byk sgt ni?okla, sbnrnye kesimpulannya nak ckp yg mm dh biasa wat sumeeeee benda dlm bilik tdo.hehe punyala panjang cite sbb nak menyampaikan maksud ni la.

okla, antara sebab cam x excited MIL balik esok sbb dia mesti nak i keluar duduk kat bilik tv ke dapur ke taman ke. MIL slalu takut kalau i jatuh depres kalau i duduk sesrg. huhu...x depres laaa. okla mestila depres kekdg apabila memikirkn benda2 x bes ataupun psl suami esp. tapiiiii...adalah lagi mengdepreskan kne kuar bilik semata2 nak tunjuk kita x depres. apekah????

mungkin, i cam kne tunjuk kat org kot yg sbnrnye i ni bukan people person.tapi....adakah mereka akan percaya?arghhhh!sadis tul.

sad

2009-12-06T07:26:00.000+08:00

it's a sad thing that nowadays religion studies is not being very well valued and studied or even practiced in every home. i am saying about Islam mainly and what i see through my eyes. it may not be acceptable to some but i am just trying to voice some through out there.

i find that most of the people tend to take religion to their own benefit. i mean religion is about for our own benefit BUT only when we take it as a whole. but no, some would just take some of the principles and left some abandoned. hypocrites, don't u think? when u think it works for u, u take it. if it's too much of a sacrifice, u just ignore it.like really? how hateful can u be?

and especially in malaysia when the moslems are tooooo comfy at their own place, "thinking" they are in a moslem country, moslem is inherited since their great great grandparents, and so on, left them into a very very comfortable zone where they are blinded thinking they are still a moslem. i'm sorry, i may be harsh but really are u a moslem? when u don't pray 5 times per day? when u don't fast during ramadhan? when u are drinking alcohol? when u are dressing to nines off clubbing every now and then? when u are not wearing a scarve and cover ur body as Allah commands u to do so?

so, are u a moslem? or are u a hypocrite?which one are u?

i'm not saying i'm a good very pious muslimah but it saddens me that slowly, people are starting to not notice the importance of Islamic values, the fact that when we do tell them the truth, people tend to get defensive about it. it's a reminder to all of us that it is never too late to change and the Quran has all the answers in it.

As Noraslina Jusin said,

"biarla terkunci pintu,jangan terkunci hati"
(it's ok if the door is locked, but not the heart)

malas

2009-12-05T19:16:00.000+08:00

tgh malas gleeee nak mati. serius yg nak mati punye. i think today all i did was day dreaming and the fact that i did not know what i was day dreaming about, i was so sure i would be better off dead.huwaaaa!!! stres stres. i must must study.plislaaa...

oooo and selain buat benda yg x diregister di otak, adalah sempat juga me"window online shopping". note that "window" okies.duit adalah bayangan impian buat waktu ini. huhu... even if i have the money pun, it has to be kept away safely for the major event in 3 weeks time.so....(muka sedih habis) "see ya wouldn't wanna be ya" la barang2 idamanku.huhu..

okla nak menggetik letak gamba2 yg diambil arini dan smalam sempena untuk suami tersyg itu. (siap edit tambah border tu...tunggula start keje,maian tibai je letak kang)

ini adalah konon2nya membaca buku. mmg la baca tapi wallahualam apa je la yang dlm otak masa membaca tu.huhu..

ini pula adalah peneman ketika membaca buku. di mana tinggal 3 keping je stok. sedih kan? lagi sedih apabila selepas menghabiskan 3 keping tersebut, trus membaringkan kepala ke bantal sbb konon2nya dah pening baca byk sgt.

ini adalah si bos kecik tgh tgk cite "up" untuk ke 55000000000 kali nye.siap dah hapal dah line sebijik2. bayangkan dia ni bukannye pandai cakap bahasa inggeris tau tapi sebab dah tgk cite ni byk kali sgt, dah leh sebut dah ayat2 tu sume sama timing lak tu. dia suke la, orang yg kne paksa teman tgk la yg sakit jiwa.aiseh...

kla,mulut tgh mengunyah2 coklat cadbury. padahal migraine klu makan coklat, mmg x sedar diri. xpe,consequence dia blakang pk.okla,byesss

hubby baru

2009-12-05T12:40:00.000+08:00

good morning,morning glory!

adalah skang tgh waktu tgh hari akan tetapi bile nak bgn awal, diganggu oleh ketukan pintu bilik dan bila buka...adalah bos kecik dtg hendak mengadu kasih di atas katil.haiyaaaa limmakau chowaaaaa. maka.... adalah terbabas tido sampai kul 11.30.(-_-) ok fine, mmg la alasan tapi ce bgtau camne nak bgn blaja atau wat keje bile sume tirai ditarik dan aircond juga dipasang pada takat beku hawa dingin.arghhhhh habisla masa depan ku macam ni.huhuhu....

si bos ada je kat belakang ni ha.sebok la nak main yahoo audibles.dah tipu ckp rosak pun x makan tau. asik la tanya byk2 kali. sadis.dia kata nak main yang "see ya wouldn't want to be ya". tsk.apala nak jd budak 3 tahun skang. main yahoo plak keje.ish3

dah plak tu tadi, masa time makan, bgtau la kat dia yg MIL nak balik dah. punyela syoknye dia. asik2 cakap yg nenek syg dia and dia syg nenek. pehtu ckpla yg uncle C(my hubby) nak balik gak. pehtu dia cam....tanakla, x suke uncle C. aku dah cam ha????asal x suke lak?
dia plak cam "x suke la uncle C, kite beli je uncle C baru."
"haaaa????tanakla pahal plak?tanak la.aunty nak ikut je uncle C lama"
"alaaaa aunty.amik je la uncle C baru.amik je la"
"ishhhh tanak la.orang suke uncle C lama la"
"alaaaa kasik je la uncle C kat kawan baby, syapiq.xyah la uncle C lama"
what the??????

adeke patut nak tukarkan hubby ku dgn org lain.sadis nye kenit.sampai hati.sob sob....

okla,harus melayan bos kecik ni balik.tgh menanya soklan bertubi2.x dpt concentrate langsung.cheits.
byesss

workout

2009-12-04T17:47:00.005+08:00

ye, orang yg sama kembali mengupdate buat kali ke-6 tuk arini.hehe amat penat baru lepas meworkoutkan diri setelah puteri diraja sudah abis beradu.(betul ke ayat camtu?)
pape je la kan.

papehalpun PENAT GLEEEEEE workout jillian michaels nih. nak tahu x buat sampai minit ke 17 je kot pehtu semput pehtu fast forward dimana scene cool down. scene cool down tu pun amaaaaat la mencabar! tensiiiii!!!

dah la pulak tu bos kecik ni ada je la soklan cepumas tuk setiap workout tu:

bos: kenapa wat camtu?
insan tensi: nak kecik kan perut.
bos: susah la nak wat camtu...camne ni?
insan tensi: tiru je apa orang tu wat k?( sambil tengah pulun abis)
bos:kenapa susah sgt nak wat camtu?
insan tensi: memang susah. try wat je k. (tgh tercungap gle ni)
bos: kenapa xleh gak wat camtu?
insan tensi:*huhu*

babyyyyyyy, plislaaaa tanakla tanya byk2 soklanmasa i workout leh x?aiyooooo...aunty kamu ni bukannye de stamina pun. dah lama x bersenam baby oiii. tu yang tercungap2 start minit ke 15 tu.x sian ke aunty mu yang bile wat exercise rasa cam nk bunuh diri ni? huhu....

seriously, i think i haven't exercise constantly since i was in primary school. no kidding. in secondary school, i couldn't even finish a 400m run. gle x low stamina?huwaaaaa...sedih gle ok. in college and uni, the only workout i had was for my mouth only.hehe syok k...

btw,main reason why i am starting to start exercise constantly is because last week, my aunty just delivered her baby normally. and she said that, the best way to prepare for a delivery is to...have reallly supeerrr stamina!*blank*apekah????????? mmg la trus nervous gle ok. my aunty tu xde stamina halfway the delivery so what happened was, the baby had to be vacuumed out of the birth canal and she said the "vacuuming" part is the WORST pain of all.*gulp*

so, nak x nak,kenala start bersenam dgn tekun. bukan untuk badan yang santek ye.(walaupun bes la kalau badan tu cun.hehe) tapi sememangnye, demi untuk beranak.hehe tak nak cakap tuk kesihatan sume sbb selama ni guna reason tu pun, diri seperti tidak tergerak untuk melakukan perubahan dalm hidup.hihi
bila dgr sakitttt, barula nak gelabah apam. hehe typical pempuan lemah. (referring to myself ye)

okla, kena layan puteri diraja kat belakang i ni yang dah start pura2 nanges sbb nak attention.(sambil menarik2 getah seluar i) boleh x???? bila la zaman attention seeker ni akan berakhir?heh.

akhirnya

2009-12-04T15:04:00.000+08:00

memang slalu begini bila hari pertama di blog baru. semangat berkobar2 untuk mengupdate sume benda.hihi.tapi kannnn....dah lepas almost 4 months pun,i still update almost everyday.*watery eyes* to tell u d truth, when i first start blogging, i don't know how long i would be able to keep updating like every single day. memang thank god la dear hubby ada jauh2,kerja memang gatal nak update je. (walaupun chat hari2 and cite sume benda, naaaaaak gak tulis kat blog.getik la.)

anyways, tadi setelah bertungkus lumus selama hampir 1 jam, siap dipaksa urut kaki,tepuk2 bontot,urut kaki balik, tepuk2 bontot, lompat2 katil,pusing kanan kiri, toleh sana,toleh sini, siap aku pun terlelap 3 kali,akhirnyaaaa.....tido gak bos kecik tuk tido petang dia.huwaaaaa.....stres ok.

nak blaja tadi pun, pasangkan cite up pun x jalan. kejap2 nak main henpon la,kejap2 nak tgk buku la,macam2. mmg siannnnn tapi i can't waste any time NOT studying. dis is freakin difficult. xleh nak imagine la orang yg ada anak masa study. gile respect.

x tahu pe cite badan sengal2, padahal smalam workout jillian michaels tu pun wat x sampai 15 minit (bukan xde stamina ok,bos kecik punye time tido.huhu)tapi serius belakang mmg sakit gle and sengal.stres betul. adakah mungkin post menstrual syndrome menggantikan aritu yg xde langsung premenstrual syndrome?hmmmmm...misteri.

okla,nak kne sambung blaja b4 bos kecik bangun balik.sigh...

yay!!!

2009-12-04T10:15:00.002+08:00

adalah sudah berjaya membuat sume benda tadi.nyeh3 masa turun2 tu nervous gak 1st2 sbb tgk x kuar, pehtu tanya nani(org gaji), "abg ipar saya dah kuar ke belum?"" oh..sudahhh"

fuhhhh....lega.kalau x, free2 dapat dosa tunjuk aurat.huhu...tapi xpe, abaikan. sebab....yang pentingnye sume dapat buat dannnnnnn bos kecik masih tido.heheheh sukeeeeeee.kalau x, naya la hidup i pagi ni.

okla nak kasik pesanan kat suami tersayang jauh nun di sana (ala2 dedication gitu)

blinkyou.com

ok,tetiba feeling hilang sbb dgr bunyi tikus bertempiaran kat atas siling.blhksdglhdahlghag bencikk!!!!

apekah?

2009-12-04T09:18:00.001+08:00

ok,arini sgt loser. di mana pagi2 bangun wat blog baru. padahal patutnya pulun blaja sebelum major event iaitu dalam masa 3 minggu akan berlaku.

arini hari jumaat maksudnya abg ipar akan balik awal arini maka, hendaklah patutnye kasik kucing-kucing sayang di luar makan plus diri sendiri skali patut makan, sbb malam tadi sempat makan megi je. malas nak turun makan, malas nak pakai tudung dan stokin.maka, patutnya bangun awal untuk buat sume benda2 disebut tadi.

tapiiiiiiiiiii....

bos kecik ketuk pintu bilik kul 8.30am untuk sambung tido kat bilik i plak. pulak tu, mintak i picit2 kaki lagi tau.aiseh...kang kalau i trun ni buat sume benda kang, ada la yang meraung kat tangga cam anak kucing hilang mak sebab tak teman dia tido.aisehman...

runsing runsing...

nak blaja pun caner, lampu sume tutup dan hujan lebat harini di mana cahaya matahari pun sungguh tidak dpt dikesan. dahla hujan lebat, kena pasang aircond sampai 21 darjah celcius tuk bos kecik ni. dia relaxxxx je tido sejuk camtu.i la yang paling terseksa nih....huhu...

kang x pasal2 tdo skali.hehe

i know

2009-12-04T07:56:00.002+08:00

i know korang mesti pk xleh pink lagi ke blog dia ni.mmg ni bukan intention sebenar tuk blog yang apa i ada dalam otak i ok. sume yang blog title nak,sume pun xde availability. aisehhhh...stres tau. dahla pulak tu mmg dalam otak dah ada perfect nye concept. dah siap ada gamba baikkkk punye sume tapi apakan daya, memang bukan rezeki la.

tadi try nak tuka font tuk blog post nye title guna kevin and amanda nye tutorial tapi....FAIL.hmph rasanye sebab guna minima strecth nye template. rasanye la kan.bukan nye pandai sgt pon nak mengedit. dok menibai je keje. pulak tu dah lama sgt x guna blogspot. dah igt2 lupa sume benda blaja aritu.huhu...

okla, nak meraban atas katil.byess

3rd blog

2009-12-04T06:55:00.001+08:00

muahaha. dis is like my 3rd blog for this year.like seriously. 1st blog, was having some problem with it (u don't wanna know). 2nd blog, i was having difficulty with the technical side, weebly was a lot to handle with. and made me blogspot even more. so, now i am back to blogspot. again.hehe i am feeling sooo good.

i am not sure where this blog is heading but definitely it will be a lot crap. knowing me la kan. hopefully u will enjoy the ride as the blog grows. (okla, tak tahula ada org baca ke x, biar je la aku perasan sendiri ok?)

okla nak deco2 lagi blog baru. mungkin aku akan letak post2 dari blog lama aku gak. tgkla hati macam mana.hehe

byesss